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1'i  "*"  '  "•        '  ~  "i~  'i  iji'i'  t    ■  i  "tii 


OLD  CREOLE  HOUSE 
From  a  drawing  by  Rosalie  Urquhart 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 


EDITED  BY 


FRANCES   FEARN 


ILLUSTRATED  BY 

ROSALIE  URQUHART 


E 


V--X< 


3?< 


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NEW   YORK 

MOFFAT,  YARD  AND  COMPANY 
1910 


Copyright,  1910,  by  Frances  Fearn 
New  York 


Published  September,  1910 


THE  QUINN  ,t  BODEN  CO.  PRESS 


TO    CLARICE    IN   FIVE   GENERATIONS 

May  the  Clarice  of  to-day  reincarnate  the  spirit  and 
the  flesh  of  those  four  noble  women  of  her  name, 
affiliating  the  child  through  her  forbears  with  the  soul 
and  body  of  her  Great,  Great  Grandmother  Clarice 


LIST  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS 


The  Old  Creole  House 

Frontispiece 

FACIXG   PAGE 

The  Old  Plantation  House 

14 

Evangeline  Oak  . 

22 

The  Dark  Forest 

32 

Gen.  U.  S.  Grant 

40 

The  Camp  on  the  Plains   . 

54 

Mexican  Water  Jars 

72 

Havana  Harbor 

78 

Clarice          .... 

84 

A  Review  Day  under  the  Empi 

re 

94 

Napoleon   III 

.      100 

Christine   Nilsson 

.      102 

The  Empress  Eugenie 

.      106 

The  Tuileries  in  1880 

.     116 

The  Writer  of  the  Diary  . 

.      124 

The  Clarice  of  To-day 

.     140 

INTRODUCTION 

IT  was  while  I  was  spending  the  summer 
in  Virginia,  where  I  had  gone  in  search 
of  quiet  and  rest,  after  my  extensive  tour 
through  the  country,  that  I  saw  in  one  of 
the  papers  an  appeal  from  a  Historical  So- 
ciety, to  those  who  had  any  real  data  in  re- 
gard to  the  Civil  War  to  publish  it,  as  so 
many  who  were  connected  with  the  war  on 
both  sides  were  rapidly  dying  off. 

I  remembered  a  diary  kept  during  the 
war  by  a  member  of  my  family,  who  was  a 
woman  of  rare  qualities  of  brain,  and  heart, 
with  an  unusually  just  mind.  I  felt  sure 
that  anything  written  by  her  would  be  so 
liberal  and  fair  that  it  could  not  fail  but 
prove  interesting  reading,  for  the  people  of 
both  the  North  and  the  South.  From  what 
she  had  told  me,  and  remembering  as  a  child 
many  things  myself,  I  am  able  to  fill  in  the 
gaps  when  necessary. 

While   preparing  vthe   Diary  for   publica- 

vii 


viii  INTRODUCTION 

tion,  I  saw  the  possibility  of  making  an  in- 
teresting drama  from  it,  so  I  have  dramatized 
it,  giving  the  play  as  title  the  famous  words 
of  General  Grant,  "  Let  us  have  peace."  I 
have  also  obtained  permission  of  General 
Frederick  Grant  to  have  his  father,  General 
U.  S.  Grant,  impersonated  on  the  stage. 

Several  years  ago  I  read  a  book  called 
"  Ground  Arms,"  by  an  Austrian  noble- 
woman, which  made  a  strong  impression  upon 
me,  for  it  was  written  with  great  power  and 
ability,  and  was  an  eloquent  protest  against 
the  evils  of  war. 

If  either  "  The  Diary  of  a  Refugee  "  or 
the  play  can  in  any  way  convey  the  horrors 
of  war  to  the  public  and  make  them  feel  as 
I  do  in  regard  to  the  terrible  suffering  and 
misery  which  it  entails  upon  so  many  inno- 
cent people,  then  indeed  I  shall  feel  that  my 
work  has  not  been  in  vain.  This  is  the  spirit 
that  has  prompted  me  to  edit  the  Diary  and 
to  dramatize  it.  I  hope  the  public,  on  reading 
the  book  and  seeing  the  play,  will  take  my 
representation  of  Southern  life  as  a  true  one, 
and  after  following  the  family  through  their 
trials  and  troubles,  will  understand  with  what 


INTRODUCTION  ix 

great  sincerity  and  thankfulness  they  echo 
General  Grant's  famous  words,  "  Let  us  have 
peace." 

It  is  with  great  pleasure  that  I  give  a 
letter  received  from  Admiral  Dewey  ex- 
pressing his  approval  of  the  description  given 
in  the  "  Diary  of  a  Refugee  "  of  the  battle 
of  Port  Hudson,  as  the  Admiral  was  on  the 
"  Mississippi  "  at  the  time. 

OFFICE   OF 

ADMIRAL    OF    THE    NAVY, 

WASHINGTON. 

April  1£,  1910. 
My  dear  Mrs.  Fearn: 

I  have  read  the  extract  from  your  mother's  diary 
with  the  greatest  interest.  I  would  suggest  that 
you  publish  it  just  as  she  saw  it  at  the  time,  and 
it  will  form  a  very  interesting  history  of  that  part 
of  the  Civil  War. 

With  sincere  regards, 

Faithfully  yours, 

George  Dewey. 

This  was  in  answer  to  a  letter  that  I  wrote 
asking  him  if  he  could  suggest  any  changes 
or  additions  to  the  account  of  the  battle  given 
in  the  Diary. 

Frances  Fearn. 


DIARY  OF   A   REFUGEE 

CRESCENT    PLANTATION, 
BAYOU  LAFOURCHE,  LA., 

APRIL,    1862. 

Saturday. 

With  a  sad  heart  and  a  feeling  of  great 
depression  I  went  on  my  usual  round  of  visits 
to-day.  First  to  the  negroes'  hospital,  then  to 
see  the  young  mothers  who  have  recently  been 
confined;  afterwards  to  the  children's  ward, 
where  they  are  kept  during  the  day  under  the 
care  of  an  old  mammy,  while  their  mothers  are 
at  work  in  the  fields.  These  and  many  other 
daily  duties  incumbent  upon  the  mistress  of 
a  plantation,  leave  one  few  spare  hours. 

I  found  the  inmates  of  the  hospital  awaiting 
me  with  great  impatience  and  eagerness,  but  I 
fear  they  missed  my  usual  cheerfulness  in 
spite  of  the  effort  I  made  to  bring  all  the 
cheer  and  comfort  I  could  to  the  poor  suffer- 
ing ones.     It  was  impossible  not  to  feel  the 


%  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

foreshadowing  of  the  evil  days  that  must  in- 
evitably come  to  us  with  the  fall  of  New 
Orleans. 

One  of  my  greatest  pleasures  is  in  distribut- 
ing the  delicacies  from  our  own  table  to  the 
invalids.  As  coming  from  the  master's  table 
they  are  greatly  appreciated. 

To-day,  as  I  sat  and  talked  with  the  differ- 
ent ones,  I  must  have  shown  in  my  face  or 
manner  the  great  anxiety  that  I  was  feeling, 
and  perhaps  I  was  a  little  more  tender  over 
them  than  usual,  for  they  looked  up  into  my 
face,  and  one  said,  "  Ole  missus,  what  is  ailin' 
yo'?  Yo'  ain't  never  looked  so  sad  befo'." 
My  usual  gayety  and  light-heartedness  must 
indeed  have  left  me;  how  could  it  be  other- 
wise, feeling  as  I  do  the  sense  of  coming  dan- 
ger? With  the  fall  of  New  Orleans  in  the 
course  of  a  short  time  we  must  leave  our  dear 
old  home,  and  what  will  then  become  of  the 
hospital  and  its  inmates?  This  is  my  special 
work;  I  organized  it  and  have  carried  it  on 
under  the  direction  of  our  excellent  family 
physician,    who    attends    and    cares    for    the 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  3 

slaves  as  well  as  for  the  family.  We  have 
had  some  of  the  more  intelligent  negro  women 
trained  and  taught  to  be  nurses,  for  they  make 
very  good  ones.  Apart  from  any  illness  that 
the  slaves  are  subject  to,  we  often  have  acci- 
dents of  a  more  or  less  serious  nature,  which 
must  inevitably  be  the  case  where  there  is  such 
a  great  variety  of  work.  The  plantation  is 
really  like  a  village,  with  its  carpenter  and 
blacksmith  shops,  its  brick  masons,  and  other 
trades,  in  which  many  of  them  show  great 
skill  and  ability. 

As  it  is  Saturday,  the  day  on  which  the 
women  and  children  come  to  me  for  any 
clothes  that  they  may  need,  I  have  had  great 
pleasure  in  giving  out  to  many  of  them  the 
things  that  they  ask  for;  of  my  many  duties 
the  one  I  enjoy  most  is  the  privilege  my  hus- 
band gives  me  of  distributing  the  clothes  to 
the  women  and  children.  The  materials  are 
bought  in  large  quantities  at  wholesale  prices. 
A  certain  number  of  seamstresses  are  detailed 
to  make  them  up  into  all  kinds  of  necessary 
garments  for  the  men  and  women  and  chil- 


4  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

dren.  After  they  are  made,  they  are  put  in 
sets  and  kept  in  a  large  room,  used  only  for 
that  purpose.  Each  person  is  allowed  a  cer- 
tain number  of  every  necessary  article  of 
clothing.  I  am  always  pleased  when  I  can 
reward  a  young  woman,  girl,  or  child  for 
good  conduct  by  giving  an  extra  pretty  dress, 
handkerchief,  or  perhaps  a  string  of  bright 
beads,  as  the  latter  is  greatly  prized. 

When  the  crops  have  been  good,  my  hus- 
band distributes  a  sum  of  money  to  the  ne- 
groes in  proportion  to  the  extra  amount  of 
work  that  they  have  done  during  the  grind- 
ing season.  It  is  the  occasion  for  great 
rejoicing  and  gayety.  Everyone  puts  on 
their  best  clothes  and  a  general  feeling  of 
good  humor  prevails.  The  gallery  is  gayly 
decorated  where  my  husband  sits  at  the  table 
on  which  is  placed  the  gold  coin,  and  as  each 
negro  comes  up  in  line,  their  name  is  called 
by  the  overseer  and  they  receive  the  amount 
due  to  them  according  to  the  work  that 
they  have  done  and  their  good  conduct  dur- 
ing the  year.     The  women  and  children  are 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  5 

included.  The  young  mothers  receive  a  pres- 
ent for  their  babies  and  it  is  not  an  unusual 
occurrence  for  a  mother  to  borrow  an  extra 
baby  to  present,  so  as  to  receive  an  addi- 
tional present!  When  found  out,  this  creates 
no  end  of  joking  and  amusement.  We  all 
know  it  is  sometimes  difficult  for  white  moth- 
ers to  recognize  their  own  offspring,  but  how 
much  more  difficult  must  it  be  for  a  man  to 
know  the  difference  between  two  black  babies. 
Poor  James  is  often  fooled!  It  makes  a  pic- 
turesque scene,  with  the  decorations  of  the 
gallery,  the  mixture  of  gay  colors,  the  cos- 
tumes of  the  negroes,  and  the  vivid  greens  and 
bright  tropical  coloring  of  plants  and  flowers 
in  the  garden  that  surrounds  the  house. 

The  distribution  of  this  money  takes  place 
immediately  after  the  sugar  is  made.  When 
the  grinding  season  is  over  a  week's  holiday 
follows,  during  which  the  negroes,  with  great 
joy,  prepare  for  the  ball  that  is  given  at  the 
end  of  the  week.  The  negro  women  are  al- 
lowed to  go  in  the  wagons  used  for  hauling 
the  cane  to  Donalds ville,  the  nearest  village, 


6  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

where  they  are  given  the  great  pleasure  of 
spending  their  money  on  the  necessary  adorn- 
ment for  the  hall.  Their  great  ambition  is  to 
be  able  to  disappear  from  the  ballroom  sev- 
eral times  during  the  evening,  and  to  reap- 
pear with  some  startling  addition  to  their 
toilets,  thereby  exciting  the  envy  of  the  others. 
We  all  take  the  greatest  pride  and  pleasure 
in  decorating  the  ballroom  with  wreaths  of 
evergreen,  flags,  etc.,  and  my  husband  gives 
them  carte  blanche  for  their  supper  as  regards 
the  killing  of  chickens  and  making  of  cakes, 
ice  creams,  and  sweets  of  all  kinds,  for  which 
they  have  a  great  weakness.  The  ball  is 
opened  by  members  of  the  family  dancing  the 
first  set  of  Lancers.  After  that  the  floor  is 
given  up  to  the  negroes,  who  enter  into  the 
enjoyment  most  heartily.  Any  stranger  look- 
ing in  upon  this  scene  would  not  believe  that 
they  were  slaves.  But  why  should  they  not  be 
light-hearted?  They  have  no  responsibilities, 
they  are  well  cared  for,  and  clothed  and  fed? 
If  the  war  ends  unsuccessfully  for  us,  will 
they,  with  their  freedom,  remain  thus? 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  7 

The  night  of  the  ball  was  clear  and  beau- 
tiful, the  full  moon  bringing  out  all  objects 
with  a  distinctness  more  vivid  even  than  by 
day.  The  house  and  surrounding  grounds 
were  deserted,  all  having  gone  to  the  ball. 
My  husband  had  been  detained,  so  we  were 
the  last  to  leave  the  house.  The  road  to  the 
low  building  where  the  ball  was  going  on  was 
through  a  long  avenue  of  overarching  trees. 
Not  a  sound  was  to  be  heard  or  a  moving 
object  in  sight,  when  suddenly  there  appeared 
in  the  path  before  us,  as  though  coming  up 
from  the  ground,  a  big  negro,  who  held  in  his 
hand  one  of  the  large  formidable  knives  used 
for  cutting  the  cane. '  It  glistened  in  the  moon- 
light as  he  advanced  threateningly  towards 
my  husband.  He  is  the  one  vicious  and  really 
bad  negro  on  the  plantation.  Being  very 
lazy  he  had  run  off  three  months  before,  so  as 
to  avoid  the  hard  work  necessary  for  all  hands 
during  the  grinding  season. 

My  husband's  influence  over  the  slaves  is 
very  great,  while  they  never  question  his  au- 
thority, and  are  ever  ready  to  obey  him  im- 


8  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

plicitly,  they  love  him!  It  was  only  necessary 
for  him  to  command  this  negro  to  put  down 
his  knife,  for  the  darkey  to  fall  at  my  hus- 
band's feet  and  beg  for  forgiveness.  The 
negro's  reason  for  returning  at  this  time  was 
in  order  to  go  to  the  ball.  He  said,  "  Ole 
massa,  do  what  yo'  will  with  me,  only  le'  me 
go  to  the  ball  to-night!"  My  husband  gave 
his  permission,  but  said,  "  I'll  not  punish  you, 
as  you  will  receive  your  punishment  at  the 
hands  of  those  whom  you  left  to  do  your  share 
of  the  work." 

It  was  a  terrible  scene  when  he  entered  the 
ballroom.  His  fellow-slaves  fell  upon  him, 
and  it  was  with  great  difficulty  that  he  was 
finally  rescued  after  a  severe  beating  at  their 
hands  and  being  put  out  of  the  ballroom.  It 
is  a  curious  fact  that  the  good  workers  have 
no  sympathy  for  those  who  run  off  and  shirk 
their  duty. 

Sunday  night. 
The  service  that  we  had  to-day  in  our  little 
church  on  the  plantation  seemed  to  me  unusu- 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  9 

ally  touching  and  pathetic.  As  I  watched  the 
faces  of  the  slaves  who  were  so  unconscious  of 
any  impending  evil  in  their  lives,  I  felt  in- 
stinctively that  it  was  the  last  service  that  we 
should  have  together. 

This  church  was  huilt  by  my  husband  for 
the  benefit  of  the  slaves.  Our  dear  pastor  is 
from  the  North,  he  is  very  talented  and  a  most 
excellent  man.  Curiously  enough,  he  came 
South  full  of  bitterness  against  all  slave- 
owners. To  his  great  astonishment,  my  hus- 
band, on  first  meeting  him,  employed  him  at  a 
salary  of  five  thousand  dollars  a  year  to  take 
care  of  the  religious  education  and  training  of 
the  negroes.  He  accepted,  feeling  he  had  found 
a  field  for  great  missionary  work;  but  not  so 
much  in  regard  to  the  negroes  as  to  what  he 
hoped  to  be  able  to  accomplish  with  the 
wicked,  benighted  Southern  slave-owners! 
He  came  fully  prepared  to  preach  a  crusade 
against  us,  but  he  has  succeeded  in  making  us 
all  love  him,  and  I  have  every  reason  to  believe 
that  he  has  changed  his  opinions  in  many  re- 
spects regarding  us. 


10  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

Our  plantation  life  has  been  a  revelation 
to  him,  so  different  is  it  from  what  he  ex- 
pected. His  influence  over  the  slaves  has  been 
wonderfully  good.  He  has  educated  one  of 
the  more  intelligent  men  to  become  a  preacher, 
and  we  go  often  to  hear  him  when  he  preaches 
at  the  evening  services.  It  is  extraordinary 
what  remarkable  musical  talent  many  of  the 
negroes  have,  and  also  very  sweet  voices,  so 
that  the  singing  in  church  is  really  unusually 
good. 

Monday. 
Another  anxious  day!  The  steamboats 
"Mary  Tee"  and  "The  Lafourche,"  char- 
tered by  my  husband,  are  being  loaded  with 
sugar.  The  fires  are  kept  up  day  and  night 
ready  to  start  as  soon  as  the  dreaded  news 
reaches  us  that  the  Federal  gunboats  have 
passed  the  forts.  The  conduct  of  the  negroes, 
and  their  evident  desire  to  show  their  sym- 
pathy and  readiness  to  aid  us  in  every 
way  in  these  trying  times,  is  very  touch- 
ing.    The  more  so   as  they  know  that  the 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  11 

arrival    of    the    Federals    will    mean    their 
freedom. 

Wednesday. 

We  were  aroused  in  the  middle  of  the 
night  by  the  arrival  of  Richard.  He  had 
ridden  for  twenty-four  hours,  only  stopping 
to  change  horses;  as  he  brought  us  the  fatal 
and  dread  tidings  that  New  Orleans  was  in 
the  possession  of  the  enemy.  We  were  a  sad 
little  group  that  gathered  around  the  break- 
fast table,  each  one  trying  to  cheer  the  other 
with  the  hope  that  our  fate  may  not  in  reality 
be  as  dreadful  as  we  anticipated. 

This  beautiful  spring  morning,  the  season 
of  the  year  when  the  dear  old  place  is  at  its 
best  with  a  great  abundance  of  roses  of  many 
varieties,  none  more  lovely  in  the  richness  of 
its  color  than  the  "  Cloth  of  Gold  " ;  these 
with  the  greatest  profusion  of  climbing  roses 
that  cover  the  pillars  of  the  galleries,  the 
fences,  and  run  riot  everywhere  with  a  dark 
background  of  all  the  rich  greens  of  the 
tropical  plants,  make  a  lovely  scene,  such  as 


12  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

one  is  loath  to  leave.  Never  did  the  old  typi- 
cal Southern  home,  in  its  simplicity  and  com- 
fort, seem  so  attractive,  with  the  large  rooms, 
high  ceilings,  and  all  that  tends  to  make  a 
home  beautiful  and  comfortable,  filled  with 
interesting  souvenirs  of  the  many  places  that 
we  have  visited  in  our  extensive  travels.  The 
most  insignificant  article  seems  to  have  a  spe- 
cial value,  and  as  I  look  upon  it  all,  I  feel  in- 
stinctively that  I  shall  never  see  it  again. 

Although  I  am  a  Virginian  by  birth  and 
have  lived  all  my  life  in  the  South  and  West, 
I  have  never  approved  of  slavery.  It  has  been 
one  of  the  greatest  sorrows  and  trials  of  my 
life  that  my  husband  should  own  so  many 
slaves,  both  in  Louisiana  and  Kentucky. 
This  has  made  me  feel  the  great  responsibility 
resting  upon  us  in  the  care  of  them,  and  I  am 
thankful  to  say  my  husband  has  shared  it  with 
me,  and  always  been  willing  and  anxious  to 
mitigate  their  condition  as  much  as  possible, 
by  being  kind,  considerate,  and  just  in  his 
treatment  of  them.  Their  appreciation  of 
what  he  has  done  for  them  has  been  clearly 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  13 

shown  in  their  love  and  devotion  to  him  and  to 
each  member  of  the  family. 

Last  year,  on  an  occasion  when  my  husband 
had  to  leave  us  for  many  days,  and  there 
was  no  white  person  living  within  several 
miles  of  the  house,  before  going  he  called  the 
negroes  around  him  and  told  them  that  he 
was  going  off  to  be  absent  some  time,  and  to 
their  care  and  protection  he  entrusted  their 
mistress  and  his  child.  He  felt  that  they 
would  allow  nothing  to  harm  his  loved  ones 
during  his  absence.  The  night  after  he  left 
was  a  beautiful,  clear  moonlight  night.  The 
house  is  entirely  surrounded  by  a  wide  balcony 
on  which  all  the  front  rooms  open  with  French 
windows.  In  the  middle  of  the  night  I  heard 
an  unusual  sound  and  got  up  to  ascertain  the 
cause  of  it.  As  I  opened  my  door  I  saw 
innumerable  figures  rise  up  in  the  moonlight, 
and  a  chorus  of  voices  called  out,  "  Don't  be 
afraid,  ole  missus,  we  are  just  here  guarding 
you  and  the  child  for  ole  massa."  I  went  back 
to  bed  feeling  that  we  were  safe  in  their 
keeping,  but  I  lay  awake  many  hours  won- 


14  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

dering  what  freedom  would  do  for  these 
child-like  people.  Would  they  be  improved 
by  it,  or  would  they  lapse  back  into  a  savage 
condition  when  the  firm  and  guiding  hand  of 
the  master  was  taken  from  them? 

My  son's  news  of  the  fall  of  New  Orleans 
was  confirmed  while  we  were  at  breakfast  by  a 
man  on  horseback,  riding  rapidly  down  the 
Bayou  road,  calling  out  as  he  went  by,  "  The 
Yankees  are  coming! "  It  was  the  signal  for 
us  to  gather  up  the  things  we  most  valued  of 
our  belongings  and  to  go  on  board  "  The 
Lafourche,"  which  was  waiting  with  steam 
up  in  the  Bayou,  fronting  the  house,  to  carry 
us  off. 

It  was  a  sad  little  group  that  left  the  dear 
old  home.  We  were  so  overcome  with  sorrow 
and  terror  as  to  our  future  fate  that  we  gave 
no  thought  of  what  we  were  taking  with  us. 
The  negroes  were  far  more  thoughtful  for  us ; 
one  picked  up  my  husband's  favorite  sofa,  an- 
other his  chair,  one  even  went  so  far  as  to 
sweep  the  silver  on  the  breakfast  table  into  a 
handy  clothes-basket  and  carry  it  on  board. 


hH        * 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  15 

Indeed,  we  had  great  cause  afterwards  to  be 
very  thankful  to  them  for  their  forethought 
in  the  provision  that  they  made  for  our  com- 
fort and  for  the  supplies  that  they  put  on 
board ;  the  latter  were  sadly  needed  before  our 
journey  was  over. 

My  heart  was  torn  at  the  separation  from 
my  son  Richard,  who  had  returned  to  join  his 
company.  We  Southern  women  need  all  our 
strength  and  courage  to  give  up  our  sons  and 
loved  ones,  our  homes  are  taken  from  us,  and 
we  must  become  refugees! 

My  husband  has  been  able  to  put  on  board 
the  steamboat  about  one-half  of  this  year's  crop 
of  sugar.  The  plantation  is  only  three  miles 
from  Donaldsville,  at  the  mouth  of  the  Bayou 
Lafourche.  When  we  entered  the  Mississ- 
ippi River,  it  had  become  a  seething  mass 
of  craft  of  all  kinds  and  description  that  could 
be  made  into  possible  conveyances  to  carry 
away  the  terror-stricken  people  who  were  fly- 
ing from  their  homes  with  their  loved  ones 
and  treasures,  all  making  a  mad  rush  for  the 
mouth  of  Red  River. 


16  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

We  who  had  lived  on  the  plantation,  with 
the  greatest  abundance  of  food  and  supplies 
of  all  kinds,  have  not  felt  the  effects  of  the 
war,  but  now  that  we  are  refugees  and  in  a 
part  of  the  country  that  has  been  drained  of 
much  that  it  produced,  and  the  white  laboring 
man  has  joined  the  army,  leaving  the  fields 
but  scantily  cultivated,  we  begin  to  feel  the 
want  of  food.  Our  party  consists  of  seven  in 
the  family  and  eighteen  servants,  and  the  offi- 
cers and  crew  of  the  steamboat,  making  many 
mouths  to  feed;  frequently  we  are  not  allowed 
to  land  if  there  are  few  provisions  in  the 
place,  and  are  met  at  the  wharf  by  men  with 
shotguns,  who  not  politely,  but  very  forcibly, 
request  us  to  move  on,  and  it  is  not  an  unusual 
thing  for  us  to  have  nothing  but  sweet  pota- 
toes and  corn  bread  to  eat  for  days  at  a  time. 

After  months  on  board  the  steamboat,  with 
bad  water  as  well  as  a  lack  of  proper  food,  we 
are  all  beginning  to  feel  the  effects,  so  that 
my  husband  has  decided  to  go  to  Alexandria 
for  the  winter. 


II 


ALEXANDRIA,  AUGUST. 

We  arrived  here  none  too  soon  as  two  of  the 
family  have  typhoid  fever,  my  daughter  and 
niece.  It  would  be  impossible  to  tell  of  all 
the  kindness  and  hospitality  that  we  have  re- 
ceived at  the  hands  of  these  dear  kind  peo- 
ple. Dr.  Davidson,  not  only  a  very  skilled 
and  remarkable  physician,  but  loved  by  all 
who  know  him,  is  a  most  generous  man,  giv- 
ing us  much  that  cannot  be  bought  for  any 
amount  of  money.  These  are  times  when  the 
possession  of  money  means  nothing,  for 
there  is  nothing  to  buy  with  it.  All  the  more 
one  appreciates  the  kind  generous  hearts  who 
are  willing  to  share  with  others  less  fortu- 
nate than  themselves  whatever  they  may  pos- 
sess in  the  way  of  provisions. 

A  month  later. 

Now  that  my  invalids  are  convalescent,  my 

husband  has  rented  a  hotel  which  was  once  a 

n 


18  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

favorite  summer  resort,  twenty-five  miles 
from  Alexandria,  in  a  pine  forest,  where 
there  is  also  a  very  good  spring  of  mineral 
water,  which  is  supposed  to  be  a  good  tonic 
suitable  for  strengthening  our  poor  invalids. 

Pine  Forest. 
What  a  remarkable  place!  The  hotel 
which  could  accommodate  two  or  three  hun- 
dred people,  has  been  abandoned  and  left  to 
go  to  ruin.  The  furniture  has  been  taken 
away,  only  a  few  beds  remain  with  corn- 
shuck  mattresses,  and  chairs,  the  seats  of 
which  are  made  of  cowhide.  It  presented  a 
forlorn  appearance  as  we  drove  up.  I  must 
say  that  my  heart  sank  at  the  prospect  of 
making  a  home  here.     It  seemed  so  hopeless. 

Tuesday. 
Yesterday  I  drove  for  twenty  miles  with 
Jack  in  the  wagon  drawn  by  four  horses, 
carrying  with  me  several  hundred  dollars 
with  which  to  buy  provisions.  Imagine  my 
despair  and  disappointment  when  I  returned 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  19 

at  night  with  one  pint  bottle  of  milk,  a  dozen 
eggs,  a  small  sack  of  corn  meal,  and  one 
chicken  to  feed  twenty  hungry  mouths! 
What  really  saves  us  from  starvation  is  a 
beautiful  clear  stream  that  runs  through  this 
forest.  In  it  are  the  most  delicious  fresh- 
water trout,  at  least  they  seem  so  to  us.  My 
husband  delights  in  awaking  the  children  in 
the  morning  at  an  early  hour  with  the  call, 
"  Get  up,  girls,  fish,  or  no  breakfast."  So 
he  would  have  us  all  out  fishing  most  seri- 
ously for  the  food  of  the  day.  We  cook 
them  out  of  doors  (we  have  no  stove)  in  our 
only  cooking  utensil, — a  frying-pan.  There 
is  also  a  coffee-pot,  which  we  look  at  with 
longing  eyes  in  anticipation  of  the  day  when 
we  shall  have  some  coffee  made  in  it,  but  as 
yet  we  have  not  been  able  to  find  any  coffee 
that  we  could  buy. 

Ten  days  later. 
Great  excitement  yesterday.     We  saw  an 
Indian  coming  from  the  forest  with  a  deer 
on  his  back.    The  shout  that  we  sent  up  must 


20  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

have  reminded  him  forcibly  of  his  tribe  when 
on  the  war  path.  He  started  to  run,  but 
there  was  no  escape  for  him,  he  was  too 
quickly  surrounded  by  a  hungry  crowd.  The 
gold  pieces  that  we  held  out  to  him  very  soon 
changed  his  fears  to  amusement  and  wonder, 
for  he  had  never  seen  so  much  money  before. 
The  deer  was  quickly  dropped  at  our  feet, 
and  the  money  grasped  with  great  eagerness, 
for  he  was  all  anxiety  to  get  away,  thinking 
perhaps  that  we  might  regret  our  bargain. 
He  little  knew  how  hungry  we  were,  and 
what  a  feast  that  deer  represented  to  us. 
Never  did  anything  taste  so  good. 

We  had  another  piece  of  good  luck.  One 
of  the  children  found  a  tomato  bush  in  an 
old,  abandoned  vegetable  garden.  These, 
added  to  the  venison,  made  indeed  a  feast 
fit  for  the  gods  in  our  eyes. 

In  spite  of  the  lack  of  food  and  comforts 
we  are  all  improved  in  health,  for  the  pure 
air  of  this  pine  forest  and  the  water  have 
proved  such  good  tonics  that  our  invalids 
have  entirely  recovered. 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  21 

With  the  approach  of  winter  and  the  con- 
dition of  the  house  being  such  that  it  affords 
no  protection  against  the  cold  (no  glass  in  the 
windows  and  the  roof  open  in  many  places), 
my  husband  has  decided  to  go  back  to  Alex- 
andria for  that  season.  The  question  of 
clothes  has  become  a  very  serious  one;  it  is 
not  that  we  are  concerned  as  to  the  latest 
fashions.  Oh,  no.  It  is  too  serious  for  that 
small  consideration.  I  really  do  not  know 
how  we  could  have  got  through  the  winter  if 
we  had  not  had  a  great  piece  of  good  luck. 
While  living  on  the  steamboat,  my  husband 
received  a  letter  from  the  owner  of  a  coun- 
try store  on  Bayou  Plaquemine,  offering  to 
sell  him  the  contents  of  the  store,  for  what 
seemed  a  very  large  sum  of  money,  if  my  hus- 
would  pay  him  half  of  it  in  sugar  and  the  rest 
in  gold.  The  Bayou  was  too  narrow  for  us 
to  go  in  the  steamboat,  so  we  rowed  up  in 
small  boats,  starting  at  dawn. 

It  was  a  day  never  to  be  forgotten.  The 
beauty  and  picturesqueness  of  the  Bayou  have 
been  made  famous  in  Longfellow's  "  Evan- 


22  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

geline."  In  our  imagination  we  passed  the 
very  spot  where  Evangeline  was  asleep,  and 
Gabriel,  her  lover,  went  by  not  seeing  her. 

From  the  realms  of  poetic  imagination  we 
were  suddenly  brought  face  to  face  with  the 
stern  realities  of  life,  for  we  were  badly  in 
need  of  clothes.  My  husband  had  no  list  of 
the  contents  of  the  store,  so  we  were  unable 
to  form  any  idea  of  what  we  might  find. 
When  we  reached  it,  on  opening  the  door  he 
said,  "  Now,  girls,  it  is  all  yours,"  which 
was  as  welcome  a  sound  to  us  as  if  he  was 
offering  us  a  gold  mine.  Just  imagine  a  lot 
of  women  without  sewing  materials  of  any 
kind! — no  thread,  needles,  buttons,  etc.,  to  say 
nothing  of  dress  materials — turned  loose  even 
in  a  country  store.  No  words  can  describe 
the  excitement  and  exultant  exclamations  on 
opening  a  box  to  find  the  very  things  that 
we  needed  most,  as  we  had  become  very  sim- 
ple in  our  wants  and  tastes.  There  was  no 
question  of  scorning  anything.  Oh,  no!  We 
were  overjoyed  when  we  found  about  sixty 
yards  of  old-fashioned  plaid  barege,  and  such 


mmmmm 


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—»    V— —Li. .MM 


t»iiiw'iii"W'*«*Hf*«  iim 


EVANGELINE  OAK 

From  a  draiving  by  Rosalie  Urquhart 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  23 

a  plaid!  The  size  of  the  squares  and  odd 
mixture  of  colors  were  very  startling,  but 
that  made  no  difference.  We  rose  above  such 
small  matters,  it  meant  a  dress. 

We  filled  the  boat  with  our  newly  acquired 
possessions  and  returned  to  the  steamer  feel- 
ing happier  and  much  relieved  in  our  minds, 
in  regard  to  the  replenishing  of  our  ward- 
robes for  the  winter.  One  must  see  the  con- 
tents of  an  American  country  store  to  appre- 
ciate the  great  variety  and  possibilities  it 
affords,  as  it  contains  a  little  of  everything. 

ALEXANDRIA. 

We  are  now  settled  for  the  winter  in 
rather  a  well-furnished  house,  and  are  quite 
comfortable.  I  have  started  the  children  to 
school,  my  daughter  and  nephew.  My  hus- 
band's sugar  is  a  blessing,  not  only  to  us,  but 
throughout  this  part  of  the  country,  as  with 
it  he  is  able  to  get  in  exchange  much  that 
cannot  be  bought  with  money.  His  great  de- 
sire is  to  get  together  by  means  of  his  sugar 
a  supply  of  provisions  for  some  of  our  Army 


24  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

posts  that  are  beginning  to  feel  the  want  of 
food,  owing  to  the  blockade.  How  the 
Southern  women  suffer,  thinking  of  our  dear 
brave  young  sons,  who  have  been  brought  up 
in  the  greatest  luxury  and  ease,  many  fight- 
ing in  the  ranks  of  our  Army,  enduring  the 
greatest  hardships  and  privations.  We  know 
that  they  are  doing  it  without  a  murmur  and 
we  are  proud  of  their  brave  and  unselfish 
lives. 

ALEXANDRIA, 
APRIL,   1863. 

Shall  I  ever  be  able  to  recall  all  that  I  have 
gone  through  since  I  last  made  an  entry  in 
my  diary?  It  seems  an  eternity,  so  much  have 
I  suffered  and  such  terrible  scenes  have  I 
witnessed. 

When  my  husband  had  succeeded  in  col- 
lecting a  sufficient  quantity  of  provisions  he 
offered  them  to  the  Government  for  the  re- 
lief of  the  garrison  at  Port  Hudson,  where 
my  son  Richard  was  stationed.  The  Govern- 
ment gave  him  the  use  of  a  steamer  and  the 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  25 

permission  to  take  us  with  him.  He  went 
with  the  hope  of  being  able  to  see  Richard. 
The  trip  down  the  river  was  made  safely, 
without  any  accident  worth  recording.  But 
on  the  afternoon  of  March  14th  we  felt  the 
signs  of  excitement,  for  when  we  got  in  sight 
of  Port  Hudson  it  was  evident  that  the  Fed- 
eral gunboats  were  getting  into  line  for  the 
approaching  battle.  The  Captain  felt  a  hesi- 
tation about  landing,  but  we  were  too  anxious 
to  see  Richard,  so  after  a  consultation  we 
decided  to  risk  it,  and  most  thankful  were  we 
for  having  done  so. 

Strangely  enough  the  general  in  command 
selected  Richard  (without  knowing  that  we 
were  on  the  steamer),  to  bring  the  order  to 
the  Captain  telling  him  not  to  remain  at  the 
landing,  but  to  go  around  the  bend  of  the 
river  in  front  of  Port  Hudson,  to  await  the 
result  of  the  battle.  In  case  the  enemy 
passed  we  were  to  go  up  the  river  to  Port  de 
Russy.  The  Captain  disobeyed  the  order  to 
the  extent  of  remaining  fifteen  minutes,  en- 
abling  us   to   have   these   precious   moments 


26  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

with  our  dear  boy.  By  this  time  it  was  dark. 
The  order  was  for  all  lights  to  be  put  out  on 
the  boat.  Even  blankets  were  held  up  in 
front  of  the  engine  fires  as  we  crept  around 
the  bend.  We  had  not  gone  far,  however, 
before  the  Federal  gunboats  opened  fire  upon 
us,  the  shells  falling  fast  and  thick.  Had 
one  of  them  struck  our  frail  wooden  steamer 
it  would  have  been  instantaneous  death  to  all 
and  complete   destruction  of  the   steamer. 

Our  escape  from  destruction  or  capture 
was  owing  to  the  fact  that  the  gunboat 
"  Mississippi  "  which  was  detailed  to  capture 
us  was  struck  by  a  shell  from  our  forts,  and 
her  machinery  being  disabled  she  ran  aground 
and  caught  fire.  We  were  near  enough  to 
hear  the  commands  given  on  the  "  Mississ- 
ippi "  and  to  witness  the  terrible  scenes  that 
followed  when  she  caught  fire.  I  shall  never 
forget  the  terrors  of  it,  and  not  until  we  were 
safely  around  the  bend  of  the  river  in  front  of 
Port  Hudson  did  we  realize  the  extent  of 
our  own  danger,  and  how  narrow  an  escape 
we    had    made.     We    completely    lost     all 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  27 

thought  or  consciousness  of  any  personal 
danger  to  ourselves.  We  could  think  of 
nothing  but  Richard  and  the  gallant  defend- 
ers of  our  forts.  The  fleet  against  them 
looked  so  grim  and  formidable  that  our  hearts 
were  filled  with  terror  at  the  thought  of 
what  their  fate  might  be. 

After  we  reached  our  point  of  refuge  we 
waited,  according  to  our  instructions,  until 
midnight,  when  we  saw  the  Federal  gunboat 
"  Hartford  "  pass  the  forts.  This  was  to  be 
the  signal  for  us  to  go  on  to  Fort  de  Russy, 
seventy  miles  up  the  river,  the  garrison  there 
being  in  great  need  of  food.  We  were  able 
to  give  them  some  of  the  supplies,  but  it 
was  not  long  before  the  fort  was  taken  and 
we  were  compelled  to  return  to  Alexandria. 
I  fear  it  will  be  a  long,  anxious  waiting  be- 
fore we  can  learn  Richard's  fate. 

Several  months  later. 
My  husband  has   at   last  joined   us   after 
many  months  of  anxiety  and  uncertainty  as 
to  his  fate,  being  unable  to  communicate  with 


28  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

him  or  in  any  way  get  news  of  him.  He  re- 
turned to  the  plantation,  as  he  felt  anxious 
about  the  slaves  and  wanted  to  see  what  he 
could  do  for  them. 

The  plantation  facing  on  the  Bayou  is 
three  miles  in  length,  but  extends  many 
miles  back  to  the  swamps.  My  husband  re- 
turned to  it  from  the  rear,  and  none  too  soon, 
for  as  he  entered  from  the  swamps  the  Fed- 
erals were  approaching  from  Donaldsville, 
coming  by  the  Bayou  road  in  front  of  the 
plantation.  He  called  the  negroes  around 
him  and  told  them  that  when  the  Federals 
took  possession  of  the  place  they  would  be 
given  their  freedom,  but  if  they  wanted  to  go 
with  him,  he  would  take  them  to  Texas  where 
he  would  give  them  work  and  treat  them  as 
he  had  always  done,  but  they  would  still  be 
slaves.  In  answer  a  chorus  of  voices  ex- 
claimed, "  Ole  Massa,  we'll  go  with  yo'." 
Out  of  several  hundred  slaves  only  fifteen 
young  half-grown  boys  remained  on  the 
place.  My  husband  then  ordered  all  the 
wagons  to   be  made   ready,   the   very   large 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  29 

ones  which  are  used  for  hauling  sugar-cane 
from  the  fields  to  the  mill,  each  requiring 
four  mules.  In  these  he  put  the  old  women, 
young  children,  and  the  sick;  the  women  and 
those  who  were  able  followed  on  foot.  The 
negroes  were  allowed  to  take  some  of  their 
belongings  with  them,  as  they  placed  great 
value  upon  their  personal  possessions,  and 
would  have  been  very  unhappy  at  leaving 
them.  Of  this  fact  my  husband  realized  the 
importance,  as  he  did  not  wish  them  to  be- 
come dissatisfied  so  as  to  regret  their  decision 
to  go  with  him.  It  was  not  many  hours 
after  they  went  off  that  the  Federals  entered 
the  plantation  from  the  front  and  took  pos- 
session of  the  place.  The  Federal  officers 
of  the  regiment  occupied  the  dear  old  house 
for  several  months  before  they  destroyed  it. 
One  of  the  officers  fell  in  love  with  a  Creole 
girl  living  near  the  place.  He  told  her  that 
they  were  going  to  destroy  the  house  and 
what  they  could  not  carry  off  they  would 
break  up  or  burn.  If  there  was  anything  she 
would  like  to  have  he  would  gladly  give  it 


30  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

to  her.  She  asked  for  my  beautiful  silver 
tea-kettle  that  she  knew  I  valued  greatly,  also 
the  piano  which  was  much  prized.  He  sent 
them  to  her.  In  a  letter  which  I  have  just 
received  from  her  she  writes  me  that  she  is 
keeping  them  for  me,  and  regrets  that  she  did 
not  ask  for  more,  as  everything  has  been 
taken  away,  silver,  pictures,  and  many  tilings 
that  I  have  been  collecting  for  years,  and 
with  which  I  have  very  dear  associations. 
Oh!  this  awful  war.  When  will  it  end? 
How  many  innocent  ones  must  suffer 
for  the  ambition  of  the  terrible  politicians. 
If  only  those  who  caused  the  war  had  to 
suffer,  it  would  be  more  just. 

My  husband's  account  of  his  experience 
during  the  hundreds  of  miles  he  traveled 
with  his  slaves  is  really  most  extraordinary. 
They  were  often  very  short  of  food  and  had 
many  hardships  to  endure,  but  not  once  did 
the  slaves  falter  or  cease  in  their  vigilant 
care  and  consideration  of  him. 

After  a  long  and  fatiguing  day  their  only 
sleeping-place  would  be  on  the  ground,  and 

i 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  31 

those  who  could  would  sleep  in  the  wagons, 
but  the  negroes  never  failed  to  make  a  com- 
fortable place  for  him.  It  is  a  strange  sight 
to  see  these  trains  of  wagons  and  negroes 
going  through  the  country  often  with  only- 
one  member  of  their  master's  family,  and 
not  infrequently  there  would  be  only  a 
woman  who  most  confidingly  intrusted  her- 
self to  the  protection  and  care  of  her  slaves 
when  escaping  from  home  and  seeking  safety 
wherever  one  could  find  it.  In  most  cases 
it  was  in  Texas. 

A  touching  instance  of  this  was  a  beautiful 
young  girl  of  eighteen  years  of  age,  who  was 
an  orphan  with  only  two  brothers.  When 
they  went  off  to  join  the  Army  she  was  left 
in  charge  of  the  plantation.  One  of  her 
brothers  was  killed,  the  younger  one  re- 
turned home  badly  wounded,  just  as  the 
Federals  were  approaching  their  plantation, 
and  they  were  making  their  escape  from  the 
rear,  as  my  husband  had  done,  with  her 
brother  in  a  wagon  made  into  an  impromptu 
ambulance  by  the  negroes,  all  of  whom  faith- 


32  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

fully  followed  her.  To  their  care  she  in- 
trusted herself  and  the  wounded  boy,  for  he 
was  not  more  than  twenty;  for  weeks  they 
traveled  through  a  country  not  seeing  a 
white  person  for  days.  She  gave  touching 
accounts  of  how  the  negroes  would  take 
turns  in  helping  her  nurse  the  wounded  boy, 
carrying  him  often  in  their  arms  when  the 
road  would  be  so  rough  that  they  feared  the 
jolting  of  the  wagon  might  increase  his  suffer- 
ings, showing  always  the  greatest  love  and 
loyalty  to  the  two  young  creatures  who  felt 
no  fear  in  their  care.  After  reaching  Texas 
they  became  our  neighbors,  and  I  learned  to 
know  how  much  they  owed  to  the  care  and 
devotion  of  these  blacks  during  this  long 
journey.  But  this  brave  dear  young  girl  was 
called  upon  to  face  the  additional  sorrow  of 
seeing  her  brother  gradually  pass  away. 


THE  DARK  FOREST 
From  a  drawing  by  Rosalie  Urquhart 


Ill 


SHREVEPORT,    LA. 

Alas!  there  seems  no  rest  for  us,  as  again 
we  must  start  on  our  wanderings.  This  time 
Texas  is  our  destination.  It  is  urgent  that 
we  should  get  there  as  soon  as  possible ;  owing 
to  the  fact  that  James  has  bought  a  ranch  on 
which  he  wishes  to  settle  the  negroes,  it  is  im- 
portant that  he  should  be  there  to  organize 
the  work  in  establishing  them. 

We  reached  here  yesterday,  coming  by 
boat  from  Alexandria.  It  was  a  sad  trip  for 
us  all,  but  oh!  most  touchingly  sad  for  dear 
Mrs.  General  Taylor,  who  was  put  under 
my  husband's  care  with  her  four  children, 
two  of  them  bright,  promising  boys,  both 
handsome  and  fine  specimens  of  health.  The 
elder  was  named  for  his  grandfather,  Presi- 
dent Zachary  Taylor,  and  the  other  for  his 
father,    General   Richard   Taylor,    familiarly 

33 


34  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

known  to  his  friends  as  "  Dick  "   Taylor,  a 
gallant  soldier  and  a  most  charming  man.* 

The  second  day  out. 
One  of  the  boys  showed  symptoms  of  scar- 
let fever,  but  before  it  was  really  known  what 
was  the  matter  with  him  he  died  very  sud- 
denly. 

Two  days  later. 
I  have  been  all  day  with  Mrs.  Taylor.  It 
is  marvelous,  her  courage  and  sweet  resigna- 
tion to  the  will  of  God,  as  both  of  her  darling 
boys  are  dead.  The  younger  died  this  morn- 
ing. In  the  midst  of  her  own  overwhelming 
sorrow  she  is  unselfishly  thinking  what  a  ter- 
rible grief  it  would  be  to  her  husband  who 
is  with  the  army,  fighting  gallantly  in  de- 
fense of  our  country.  The  two  little  girls 
are  a  great  comfort  to  their  mother,  as  they 
are  very  sweet  and  attractive  children. 

*  He  was  a  great  personal  friend  of  King  Edward  VII  of 
England. 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  35 

A  week  later. 

It  is  a  great  temptation  to  linger  on  here 
as  everyone  has  been  most  kind  and  hos- 
pitable, sharing  generously  with  us  whatever 
they  have.  It  is  an  attractive  little  city 
with  its  many  pretty  and  comfortable  houses, 
and  as  the  weather  is  very  hot  they  seem  de- 
lightfully cool  and  most  suitable  for  this  part 
of  the  State. 

The  friends  who  have  taken  us  in  have 
large  and  beautiful  grounds  surrounding 
their  houses,  the  gardens  of  which  are  full 
of  the  greatest  profusion  and  variety  of 
flowers,  with  some  fine  old  trees.  It  all 
seems  so  peaceful  and  quiet  that  it  is  hard 
to  realize  the  dreadful  war  raging  not  far 
from  us,  the  beautiful  and  happy  homes  that 
have  been  destroyed,  the  brokenhearted  men 
and  women  who  are  wandering  from  place  to 
place  in  search  of  safety  and  peace.  Oh! 
the  horrors  of  war  and  most  dreadful  of  all, 
of  civil  war;  brother  fighting  against  brother 
and  families  divided.  God  grant  that  it  may 
not  last  long  is  the  prayer  that  is  in  the  hearts 


36  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

of  the  suffering  women  in  the  North  as  well 
as  in  the  South. 

James  just  told  me  that  all  the  arrange- 
ments for  our  trip  are  completed  and  that  we 
start  to-morrow,  going  in  our  own  carriages, 
taking  an  extra  wagon  to  carry  our  few  pos- 
sessions in  the  way  of  clothes  and  provisions; 
also  the  servants.  It  is  with  really  great  re- 
gret that  I  leave  our  dear,  good,  kind  friends 
and  this  attractive  place  where  I  had  rest  and 
peace. 

KAUFMAN  RANCH,   TEXAS. 

A  month  later. 

We  reached  here  yesterday,  glad  to  get  to 
even  this  wooden  shanty,  which  is  to  be  our 
home  for  the  next  few  months,  but  one  could 
not  call  it  luxurious  in  its  appointments,  for 
last  night  we  were  awakened  by  the  rain  fall- 
ing in  on  us,  so  much  so  that  we  spent  the 
greater  part  of  the  night  sitting  up  under 
umbrellas. 

I  meant  to  keep  an  account  of  our  trip,  but 
I  was  generally  so  tired  when  we  stopped 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  37 

for  the  night  that  I  really  could  not  write. 
The  trip  was  monotonous,  nothing  very  ex- 
citing happened.  We  usually  made  an  early 
start  in  the  morning,  sometimes  before  sun- 
rise, and  we  were  well  repaid  for  doing  so,  as 
it  was  often  very  beautiful,  the  sun  rising 
over  the  plains  and  the  air  deliciously  cool  at 
that  hour  in  the  morning.  Then  at  midday, 
we  were  generally  fortunate  enough  to  camp 
by  the  side  of  a  clear  running  stream,  giv- 
ing us  the  chance  of  a  bath,  which  we  found 
most  refreshing,  as  it  was  always  very  hot  in 
the  middle  of  the  day. 

The  country  was  not  particularly  inter- 
esting, some  parts  were  made  pretty  and  at- 
tractive by  the  beautiful  wild  flowers,  and  the 
growth  of  trees  following  the  stream,  but  as 
a  rule  it  was  monotonous,  sometimes  we  could 
not  even  see  the  sign  of  a  house  during  the 
whole  way.  When  we  reached  one  at  night 
we  were  always  offered  the  hospitality  of  the 
place,  and  not  infrequently  the  house  would 
be  too  small  to  take  us  all  in.  so  the  men 
would  sleep  on  the  balcony  and  the  women 


38  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

were  given  the  beds;  but  I  preferred  the  bal- 
cony and  fresh  air.  They  offered  most  gen- 
erously to  share  with  us  whatever  food  they 
had  prepared  for  themselves,  but  unfortu- 
nately the  frying-pan  was  the  one  cooking 
utensil  in  which  all  their  food  was  cooked,  so 
I  took  milk  and  boiled  eggs.  These  country 
people  are  very  simple  and  kind-hearted. 
Many  of  them  have  had  very  tragic  lives 
coming  to  this  State  from  all  parts  of  the 
country,  often  for  tragic  reasons.  They  wel- 
come strangers,  as  in  them  they  feel  a  con- 
necting link  with  the  world  which  they  have 
left  behind. 

A  month  later. 
Nothing  has  happened  during  these  weary 
weeks  of  anxiety  that  is  worthy  to  be  recorded 
here.  I  fear  I  am  allowing  myself  to  get  into 
a  most  despondent  state  of  mind,  which  is 
not  usual  with  me,  but  how  can  it  be  other- 
wise when  I  am  so  anxious  about  Richard, 
who  is  a  prisoner  on  Johnson's  Island.  He 
was  captured  at  the  fall  of  Port  Hudson.     I 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  39 

am  indeed  most  grateful  to  have  seen  him, 
and  how  merciful  it  was  that  I  was  permitted 
to  have  those  few  moments  with  him  before 
the  battle  began  and  we  were  ordered  off! 

Now  we  have  just  heard  that  my  son  James 
has  been  given  command  of  the  Second  Ken- 
tucky Regiment,  having  recovered  from  the 
wound  he  received  at  Fort  Donaldson. 
Louis,  too,  is  a  captain  in  one  of  the  Louisi- 
ana regiments.    My  three  boys!    It  is  so  sad! 

Tuesday. 
I  have  just  written  to  General  Grant,  ask- 
ing him  to  do  what  he  can  for  Richard  for 
the  sake  of  old  associations,  for  as  boy  and 
girl  we  were  much  together,  and  I  have  al- 
ways loved  him.  The  great  soldier  will  never 
be  to  me  anything  but  the  shy  boy  with  a  big, 
loving,  generous  heart,  and  a  simple  nature. 
I  feel  sure  he  will  use  his  influence  for  Rich- 
ard, his  cousin.  What  makes  it  so  dreadful 
is  that  we  have  no  mail  service.  The  post 
office  is  fifteen  miles  away,  and  the  letters  are 
brought  there  by  any  chance  rider  who  may 


40  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

be  going  through  the  country,  passing  that 
way,  and  who  will  kindly  take  the  letters  from 
one  post  office  to  another,  leaving  them  at  his 
convenience.  We  have  an  occasional  excite- 
ment in  an  encounter  with  the  much  dreaded 
tarantulas,  but  we  get  out  of  their  way  as 
quickly  as  possible,  for  they  are  difficult  to 
kill,  and  the  bite  is  generally  fatal. 

In  spite  of  our  efforts  to  make  our  wooden 
shanty  even  habitable,  we  find  it  impossible. 
It  is  not  a  question  of  money,  for  we  have 
plenty,  but  the  necessary  materials  are  not 
to  be  had  at  any  price.  We  are  grateful 
for  any  distraction,  even  the  smallest  incident 
is  made  much  of.  So  we  enjoy  the  excite- 
ment of  sending  men  on  horseback  in  every 
direction  to  the  country  stores  within  twenty 
or  thirty  miles  to  hunt  for  shoes,  as  we  are  all 
sadly  in  need  of  them.  One  of  the  searchers 
came  back  very  triumphant,  as  he  had  found 
one  pair  in  a  country  store  twenty  miles  away, 
but  as  they  asked  him  seventy-five  dollars  for 
them,  he  hesitated  about  bringing  the  shoes; 
he  was  promptly  sent  back  to   fetch  them. 


GENERAL  ULYSSES  S.  GRANT 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  41 

Great  was  the  excitement  when  he  returned 
with  the  shoes.  As  they  were  of  a  small  size 
we  all  wished  that  our  feet  might  not  prove 
too  large!  It  was  an  anxious  moment  when 
our  turn  came  to  try  them  on,  but  I  am  glad 
that  they  fit  one  of  the  girls,  whose  pretty 
little  feet  made  her  the  Cinderella  of  the  oc- 
casion. 

Our  only  neighbor  is  the  young  girl  that  I 
spoke  of  before,  who  came  here  alone  with 
her  wounded  brother. 

TOWN  OF  FAIRFIELD. 

A  month  later. 

I  opened  you,  my  dear  little  book,  to  pour 
out  the  despairing  cry  of  a  broken-hearted 
mother.  Since  I  last  wrote,  I  have  suffered 
too  much  to  be  able  to  record  it.  Now  I  feel 
that  I  must,  that  perhaps  it  will  help  me,  and 
I  want  to  write  an  account  of  what  my  brave 
little  daughter  has  done. 

James  was  away.  He  had  come  here  on 
business,  when  someone  riding  through  the 
country  brought  a  letter  to  the  ranch,  as  he 


42  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

had  been  well  paid  to  deliver  it.  The  let- 
ter was  from  an  officer  of  James'  regiment. 
He  wrote  describing  my  brave  boy's  death 
on  September  the  19th,  at  the  battle  of 
Chickamauga;  how  he  was  killed  at  the  head 
of  his  regiment  charging  a  battery.  When 
I  realized  what  it  meant,  I  became  uncon- 
scious, and  passed  from  one  fainting  spell  into 
another,  and  then  into  a  state  of  torpor.  The 
only  person  with  me  was  my  little  daughter. 
She  realized  that  I  must  have  the  comfort 
and  help  of  being  with  my  husband,  also  that 
I  was  in  a  very  desperate  mental  condition. 
Her  first  thought  was  to  get  me  here.  The 
ranch  is  twenty  miles  away.  My  husband 
had  the  carriage,  so  there  was  nothing  to 
bring  me  in  but  the  buggy,  and  she  was  un- 
willing to  send  me  with  one  of  the  negroes, 
owing  to  my  terrible  mental  condition.  But 
even  children  in  such  times  imbibe  the  spirit 
of  fearlessness.  So  she,  losing  all  sense  of 
danger,  started  with  me  lying  by  her  side  in 
a  helpless  condition.  She  drove  through  the 
dark  night,  going  through  forests,   crossing 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  43 

streams  that  were  swollen  by  the  recent  rains, 
sometimes  over  the  prairie,  where  the  howls 
of  the  prairie  dogs  seemed  to  bring  them 
close  upon  us.  On,  on,  on  she  drove;  the 
little  white  face  peering  eagerly  through  the 
darkness  for  the  first  glimpse  of  the  dawn, 
and  shortly  after  it  appeared,  she  brought  me 
safely  to  the  house  where  my  husband  was 
staying.  Poor  little  one!  They  told  me  she 
was  so  exhausted  by  the  fatigue  and  excite- 
ment of  the  night  that  she  fell  asleep  at  once 
upon  entering  the  house.  There  were  many 
days  that  they  despaired  of  my  life,  but  being 
able  to  have  the  best  medical  attention,  and 
with  the  tender  nursing  and  care  of  my  hus- 
band, I  am  now  able  to  be  about,  but,  oh, 
so  anxious  about  Louis  and  Richard.  I  am 
most  thankful  that  my  youngest  son  Charles, 
who,  owing  to  his  delicate  health,  was  com- 
pelled to  remain  North,  has  thus  been  re- 
moved from  danger. 


44  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

FAIRFIELD. 

Later  on. 

Poor  James  is  in  a  most  terrible  state  of 
mind,  as  he  has  heard  that  one  of  his  partners 
in  New  York,  fearing  that  our  home  there 
may  be  confiscated,  has  sold  the  house  with 
the  furniture  and  all  it  contains  at  auction. 
Intending  this  to  be  the  home  of  our  old  age, 
we  had  spared  no  expense  in  making  it 
luxurious  in  all  its  appointments.  It  is  very- 
hard  to  think  that  all  the  beautiful  works  of 
art  which  we  had  been  years  collecting,  old 
pictures,  and  rare  manuscripts  have  all  been 
sold.  My  husband  does  not  believe  that  it 
was  necessary.  He  thinks  Mr.  Adams  be- 
came panic-stricken,  and  did  it  without  con- 
sulting his  older  and  wiser  friends  in  New 
York. 

This  has  made  him  very  anxious  about  other 
valuable  property  and  large  interests  which 
he  has  in  the  North,  and  has  made  him  decide 
to  start  for  England  at  once,  where  he  could 
get  into  communication  with  his  friends.  It 
will  be  several  days  before  we  can  get  suffi- 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  45 

cient  provisions  together  and  make  other 
necessary  preparations.  We  must  travel  in 
the  same  way  as  we  came  here,  at  least  as 
far  as  San  Antonio. 


IV 


SAN  ANTONIO. 

Nothing  could  equal  our  joy  at  reaching 
this  haven  of  rest.  Never  did  a  place  seem 
more  enchanting  and  offer  to  the  weary 
travelers  so  much  that  was  enticing  and  re- 
freshing. After  our  long  and  fatiguing 
journey  of  weeks,  when  during  the  latter 
part  of  it  we  slept  nearly  always  on  the 
ground  with  nothing  but  a  blanket  under  us, 
we  truly  appreciated  the  luxury  of  a  bed. 

The  place  itself  is  fascinating  and  pic- 
turesque, with  many  of  the  old  Spanish  houses 
still  remaining.  The  river  running  through 
parts  of  the  city,  with  gardens  leading  down 
to  it  in  the  rear  of  the  dwellinghouses,  makes 
it  most  attractive.  These  gardens  are  well 
kept  and  have  a  great  variety  of  flowers  and 
plants  peculiar  to  this  latitude. 

We  are  overwhelmed  with  the  kindness  and 
hospitality  of  the  people.     Mr.  Hunton  and 

46 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  47 

his  wife,  with  whom  we  are  staying,  are 
charming  and  delightful.  They  are  doing 
everything  to  make  our  stay  an  enjoyable 
one  for  us,  but  what  we  are  most  in  need  of 
is  rest,  for  we  are  all  worn  out  by  the  trip. 
We  also  need  to  replenish  our  wardrobe,  as 
we  can  buy  some  materials  here  and  it  is  the 
first  time  that  we  have  been  able  to  do  so 
since  we  emptied  the  country  store  on  Bayou 
Plaquemine,  more  than  a  year  ago! 

We  hear  that  the  Federal  troops  are  in 
possession  of  Brownsville.  This  will  make  it 
necessary  for  us  to  change  our  plan  of  route, 
and  instead  of  going  South  through  Texas, 
we  must  cross  into  Mexico  at  Laredo.  This 
will  take  us  across  the  plains  of  Texas,  where 
there  is  danger  of  the  Indians,  for  lately 
they  have  been  making  raids  on  the  wagons 
loaded  with  bales  of  cotton  passing  that  way, 
killing  the  drivers  and  carrying  off  the  cot- 
ton. Now  we  must  wait  here  until  we  can 
get  together  a  sufficient  number  of  men  as  a 
protection  in  case  of  an  encounter  with  the 
Indians. 


48  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

I  regret  the  necessity  of  giving  up  our 
own  carriages  and  the  fact  that  we  must  go 
in  public  stages,  the  old-fashioned  ones,  carry- 
ing nine  persons;  three  on  the  back  seat,  three 
in  the  middle  with  only  a  strap  at  their  backs, 
and  three  with  their  backs  to  the  horses.  As 
the  weather  is  hot,  we  are  buying  only  the 
simplest  thin  materials  for  our  dresses  and 
other  garments.  They  tell  us  that  we  shall 
have  to  leave  them  en  route,  for  to  have  them 
washed  would  be  impossible. 

Our  supply  of  provisions  is  to  be  limited 
to  smoked  beef  and  corn  bread  and  tea,  if 
we  are  lucky  enough  to  get,  first,  the  water 
to  boil,  and  then  the  wood  to  make  a  fire, 
as  alcohol  is  out  of  the  question.  Our 
friends  are  trying  to  persuade  me  not  to  go 
with  James,  and  reproach  him  for  being  will- 
ing to  expose  us  to  such  great  danger.  They 
little  know  how  impossible  it  would  be  for  me 
to  stay,  that  nothing  could  separate  me  from 
my  husband  under  the  circumstances.  These 
are  heroic  times!  They  call  for  heroic  action 
on  the  part  of  the  women  as  well  as  the  men. 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  49 

We  must  not  know  what  fear  means.  I  have 
long  since  driven  all  sense  of  it  from  my 
heart.  It  does  not  exist  for  me,  and  the  same 
is  the  case  with  our  daughter  since  we  re- 
ceived our  baptism  of  fire  at  Port  Hudson. 

The  party  is  gradually  being  gathered  to- 
gether. To-day  James  tells  me  that  a  Scotch- 
man, two  Irishmen,  a  Swede,  three  or  four 
Englishmen,  also  some  Texans  are  going! 
There  are  sixteen  in  all.  The  necessary  num- 
ber must  be  eighteen,  so  we  have  to  wait  for 
two  more  to  be  found.  They  will  all  be  well 
armed  and  carry  a  good  supply  of  ammuni- 
tion. It  all  seems  very  exciting,  but  they  are 
gradually  reducing  our  allowance  of  luggage 
to  a  most  distressingly  small  amount.  All 
spare  space  must  be  given  up  to  carrying 
fodder  and  food  for  the  mules.  Our  allow- 
ance is  one  trunk  for  three  of  us,  as  it  must 
be  carried  at  the  back  of  the  stage.  We  have 
our  handbags,  a  pillow,  and  a  blanket  to 
sleep  on,  for  the  chances  are  that  we  shall 
seldom  find  a  house  or  shelter  of  any  kind. 

With  this  trip  in  prospect  we  have  so  en- 


50  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

joyed  our  rest  here.  The  house  that  we  are 
staying  in  is  most  comfortable  and  luxurious 
in  many  respects.  I  think  it  seems  doubly  so 
to  us  after  the  many  trying  experiences  we 
have  had  since  we  left  our  own  dear  old 
home  on  the  plantation.  My  dear  little  com- 
panion, I  am  afraid  that  I  shall  not  be  able 
to  write  you  up  en  route,  as  traveling  all 
day  in  the  fresh  air  makes  me  very  sleepy 
when  night  comes  on,  and  then  I  am  often 
very  tired,  though  fortunately  I  am  strong 
and  well. 

In  a  few  minutes  we  are  off;  the  party  is 
complete  in  number  and  the  awful  stage- 
coach is  at  the  door,  awaiting  our  party  of 
four  and  our  few  possessions.  It  does  not 
take  long  to  store  them  away. 

Several  weeks  later. 
This  is  the  first  time  that  I  have  felt  like 
writing  since  we  left  San  Antonio,  more  than 
two  weeks  ago.  Indeed,  until  the  night  be- 
fore last  I  have  had  nothing  of  special  interest 
to   record.      The   days   have   succeeded   each 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  51 

other  with  the  same  routine,  only  varied  by 
more  or  less  of  hardship,  fatigue,  and  lack  of 
food  and  water.  The  latter  is  the  most  ter- 
rible, for  at  times  we  had  to  go  many  hours 
before  reaching  a  place  where  we  could  get 
water  fit  to  drink. 

The  weather  is  hot,  the  roads  are  dusty,  so 
we  have  suffered  intensely  at  times  from  the 
most  parching  thirst.  When  we  were  able  to 
find  good  drinking  water  we  filled  every 
available  bucket,  bottle,  or  anything  in  which 
we  could  carry  it.  The  tin  buckets  and  bot- 
tles we  have  covered  with  flannel,  and  they 
are  hanging  outside  of  the  coach  so  as  to 
catch  any  breath  of  wind  that  there  may 
be,  as  this  is  our  only  method  of  cooling  the 
water. 

We  always  make  a  very  early  start  so  as 
to  get  the  benefit  of  the  freshness  of  the 
morning,  stopping  for  several  hours  in  the 
middle  of  the  day  to  rest  the  mules  and  our- 
selves. I  cannot  say  that  we  look  forward 
with  any  eagerness  to  our  midday  meal  unless 
by  chance  we  have  passed  through  a  village 


52  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

and  been  able  to  buy  some  eggs  and  milk. 
But  as  we  are  a  large  party,  whatever  we  are 
fortunate  enough  to  get  has  to  be  divided 
among  so  many  that  it  makes  each  por- 
tion very  small,  but  we  were  grateful 
for  any  change  from  dried  beef  and  corn 
bread. 

I  cannot  say  that  we  always  get  our  mid- 
day rest  under  the  most  favorable  conditions, 
as  frequently  the  only  shade  we  can  find  is  in 
the  shade  of  the  stage-coaches,  not  a  tree  or 
vegetation  of  any  kind  being  in  sight.  The 
first  five  nights  after  leaving  San  Antonio 
were  beautifully  clear,  so  mild  that  we  could 
sleep  most  comfortably  out  of  doors.  Only 
one  night  did  we  have  rain.  Then  we  had  to 
sleep  as  best  we  could,  literally  sitting  up  all 
night  in  the  coaches.  My  daughter  gave  a 
very  amusing  account  of  how  she  had  spent 
the  night,  refusing  to  allow  an  Irishman  on 
one  side  of  her  and  a  Scotchman  on  the  other 
to  make  a  pillow  of  her  soft  young  shoulders. 
Her  remonstrances  at  first  called  forth  abject 
apologies  on  their  part,  but  as  the  night  wore 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  53 

on,  it  became  a  war  of  defense  on  her  part 
and  perfectly  unconscious  recklessness  on 
theirs.  As  they  are  good  friends  of  hers  and 
exceedingly  nice  men,  they  all  had  a  hearty 
laugh  over  it  next  morning. 

The  life  that  we  are  living  draws  us  very 
closely  together,  so  much  so  that  we  have  be- 
come like  one  large  family.  I  am  glad  to 
say  there  is  not  a  disagreeable  or  objection- 
able member.  It  is  the  more  remarkable  as 
we  are  of  different  nationalities  and  walks 
of  life;  therefore,  have  different  tastes  and 
habits.  But  what  unites  us  in  a  strange  bond 
of  friendship  and  makes  us  equals,  is  the 
sharing  of  hardships  and  the  threatening 
danger  that  we  have  in  common.  This  was 
forcibly  shown  the  night  before  last,  when  we 
had  such  an  alarming  experience  which 
brought  out  the  true  mettle  of  all  the  mem- 
bers of  our  party. 

Always  before  settling  down  for  the  night 
we  sent  out  scouts  to  see  if  there  were  any 
Indians  near  enough  to  us  to  disturb  our 
peace  during  the  night.     We  had  that  day; 


54  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

passed  scalps  by  the  roadside,  and  there  were 
evidences  of  there  having  recently  been  a  con- 
flict between  the  Indians  and  a  number  of 
those  who  accompanied  a  train  of  cotton 
wagons.  They  had  undoubtedly  been  killed 
and  the  cotton  carried  off  by  the  Indians. 
We  traveled  far  into  the  night  until  our 
mules  became  so  exhausted  that  we  had  to 
stop  on  their  account.  We  hoped  to  get  away 
from  a  neighborhood  where  there  might  still 
be  some  Indians  lurking  about.  Our  worst 
fears  were  confirmed  by  the  scouts  return- 
ing with  the  account  of  a  camp  of  Indians 
not  far  from  us.  We  could  go  no  farther,  our 
mules  were  exhausted,  so  there  was  nothing 
for  us  to  do  but  to  make  our  means  of  de- 
fense as  strong  as  possible.  I  cannot  say 
too  much  in  praise  of  the  brave  and  gallant 
men  who  were  to  be  our  defenders.  To  add 
to  the  difficulties  of  the  situation  the  night 
was  dark,  so  that  all  our  preparations  had 
to  be  made  in  silence  and  by  starlight,  no  one 
speaking  above  a  whisper.  No  fires  could  be 
made   for   fear   of   attracting   the   notice   of 


_',. » ,  ii  jinn — .-.t~>~».w,-^^.„j, ,.  .„,..  i  i^jiu  ■«.  .».»■<.   ;  i  mo  i.  ii  i  ii  wii  Kl  wwnWkj 

.     fn-T|      ....'.-,,-•.     ,;■  ■  mum  i„i  .,...'        '    -  n»  ««■'■»  iiu<W-'"i>n'''^'"n'TinrTTr'*     '    *'"'*• 
i  .    it  —  ■  —  -■»■■  iniiiinHmmiwnllii     ill 


THE  CAMP  ON  THE  PLAINS 
From  a  drawing  by  Rosalie  Urquhart 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  55 

the  much-dreaded  Indians.  The  stars  were 
the  only  witnesses  of  the  solemn  and  hasty 
means  of  defense  made  by  this  little  group 
of  weary  travelers.  The  only  other  women 
in  the  party  were  Clarice,  Belle,  my  daughter- 
in-law,  and  her  little  girl.  We  were  to  stay 
in  the  center  of  the  camp,  the  stage-coaches 
forming  a  barricade  around  us.  There  was 
a  thick  growth  of  underbrush  not  far  from 
where  we  camped;  this  was  cut  and  brought 
in  large  quantities  and  arranged  in  piles  so 
as  to  form  an  outside  barricade  behind  which 
our  defenders  stood.  We  also  hoped  it  would 
serve  to  conceal  from  those  who  were  attack- 
ing us  how  few  we  were  in  number.  Belle 
and  I  were  to  have  charge  of  the  extra  am- 
munition, giving  it  to  the  men  when  they 
needed  it.  After  all  possible  means  of  de- 
fense had  been  completed,  we  said  our  pray- 
ers and  waited  silently  and  motionless,  feel- 
ing sure  that  the  Indians  must  know  how  near 
we  were  to  them.  It  was  a  night  of  inex- 
pressible horror.  What  we  suffered  is  beyond 
description.     When  the  first  break  of  dawn 


56  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

came  we  were  a  weary,  exhausted  little  band, 
and  on  looking  at  each  other  were  shocked  to 
find  every  face  around  us  showing  great  lines 
and  traces  of  the  anxiety  and  suffering  of 
the  night.  When  we  realized  that  we  had 
passed  safely  through  it,  we  all  knelt,  and 
from  every  heart  went  up  a  prayer  of  great 
thankfulness  for  what  seemed  to  us  a  mi- 
raculous escape.  As  the  day  wore  on  we  took 
turns  in  resting,  for  we  were  not  at  all  sure 
but  what  we  might  still  hear  from  the  neigh- 
boring camp,  and  about  one  o'clock  we  did, 
but  in  a  very  different  way  from  what  we  had 
expected. 

One  of  their  scouts  came  over  to  our  camp, 
and  to  our  surprise  and  joy  we  found  that 
those  whom  we  had  taken  for  Indians  were 
the  drivers  and  scouts  of  a  train  of  cotton 
wagons.  Their  relief  on  finding  out  about 
us  was  as  great  as  ours,  for  they  too  had 
stayed  up  all  night  under  arms,  supposing 
our  camp  to  be  one  of  Indians,  and  expecting 
an  attack  from  us! 

After  an  evening  of  rejoicing  we  took  a 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  57 

good  rest,  and  started  next  day  for  Laredo, 
our  next  destination. 


LAREDO. 

We  reached  here  late  last  evening  with  the 
hope  of  finding  some  decent  place  where 
we  might  be  moderately  comfortable  and 
rest  for  a  few  days  before  starting  for 
Mexico. 

Alas!  Alas!  Our  hopes  soon  vanished, 
and  great  was  our  disappointment  when  we 
saw  the  only  accommodation  that  we  could  get. 
There  is  no  hotel  and  the  town  is  crowded, 
not  a  spare  bed  to  be  found.  We  drove 
around  the  place,  stopped  before  every  decent- 
looking  house,  my  husband  offering  a  large 
sum  of  money  if  they  would  only  take  us  in. 
We  were  always  met  with  the  same  answer, 
and  were  very  politely  informed  that  nothing 
would  give  them  more  pleasure  than  to  have 
us,  but  they  really  had  not  a  spare  bed! 
Finally,  in  despair,  we  had  to  take  the  only 
room  which  we  could  get,  it  is  in  an  adobe 
house.     The  floor  is  simply  of  earth.     The 


58  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

bunks  in  which  we  sleep  are  like  those  of 
immigrants  on,  board  transport  ships.  On 
each  side  of  the  room  are  six  berths  in  a 
row.  One  side  is  supposed  to  be  for  the 
men  and  the  other  for  the  women,  the  latter 
having  a  thin  cotton  curtain  in  front  of  them. 
Not  a  chair  or  piece  of  furniture  of  any  kind, 
nor  the  tiniest  bit  of  a  looking-glass!  For  all 
toilet  purposes  we  have  to  go  to  the  public 
fountain  in  the  patio!  We  have  succeeded 
after  a  great  deal  of  coaxing  and  bribing  in 
getting  our  landlady  to  partition  off  a  corner 
of  the  patio,  and  after  searching  in  the  town 
we  finally  found  a  wooden  wash-tub,  which 
we  put  in  this  reserved  corner  and  that  serves 
as  our  bathtub.  We  take  our  baths  under 
some  difficulties,  as  the  curiosity  of  the  smaller 
members  of  the  family  and  their  little  friends 
is  so  great  that  we  have  to  place  someone  on 
guard  to  protect  us  from  the  invasion  of 
curious  eyes. 

We  are  feeling  really  very  sad  at  parting 
with  our  friends  with  whom  we  have  shared 
so  many  trials,  difficulties,  and  dangers,  which 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  59 

has  cemented  a  strong  and  lasting  friendship 
between  us,  even  if  we  never  meet  again. 

We  are  buying  a  small  supply  of  provisions 
that  can  be  easily  carried.  It  is,  however,  a 
great  relief  to  us  to  hear  that  in  the  Mexican 
towns  we  can  always  get  a  good  cup  of 
chocolate  and  fresh  eggs.  Now  it  is  a  greater 
joy  that  we  can  have  our  own  carriages  and 
in  every  way  be  more  comfortable.  Our 
party  will  consist  of  ourselves  and  only  two 
others,  both  of  them  very  agreeable  and  good 
traveling  companions. 

Our  week  here  has  done  us  good  notwith- 
standing that  we  have  been  so  very  uncom- 
fortable in  our  lodgings,  but  the  food  has 
been  good.  Fortunately  we  all  like  Mexican 
cooking.  I  am  particularly  fond  of  their 
frijoles. 

Just  a  line  before  we  start,  for  I  know  that 
I  shall  not  feel  like  writing  en  route.  It  is  a 
most  beautiful  morning  and  we  are  all  start- 
ing off  in  hopeful  spirits. 


60  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

A  few  days  later. 

The  days  have  passed  by  quickly  and  the 
trip  so  far  has  not  been  disagreeable,  al- 
though not  interesting  as  the  country  is  flat 
and  dusty.  The  Mexican  towns  are  dirty  and 
most  monotonous,  so  that  we  have  preferred 
sleeping  on  the  ground  away  from  the  vil- 
lages. 

Two  days  later. 

While  it  is  fresh  in  my  mind  I  must  write 
down  the  remarkable  experience  which  we  had 
yesterday.  It  was  late  in  the  afternoon,  we  had 
driven  all  day  without  seeing  a  habitation  of 
any  kind,  or  heard  a  sound,  or  seen  any  living 
thing,  when  we  suddenly  heard  in  the  distance 
a  weird  sound,  and  as  we  approached  the  di- 
rection from  which  it  came,  we  could  dis- 
tinguish human  voices,  singing  with  great 
fervor  a  religious  chant.  Then  there  ap- 
peared from  behind  the  underbrush  a  low 
adobe  hut,  and  from  this  hut  came  the  voices. 
My  daughter  begged  to  be  allowed  to  enter 
the  hut.  Her  father,  who  is  ever  ready  to 
grant  any  wish  of  hers,  the  more  so  if  it  shows 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  61 

courage,  consented,  thinking  that  in  this  in- 
stance it  might  be  an  act  of  devotion.  We 
stopped  the  carriage  some  distance  away, 
fearing  that  the  noise  of  our  approach  might 
disturb  those  who  were  attending  some  re- 
ligious rite.  As  the  girl  disappeared  over 
the  threshold,  we  all  thought  how  ethereal 
she  looked,  more  like  a  vision  than  a  reality 
in  her  simple  white  muslin.  She  is  very  fair, 
her  long  hair  is  golden,  falling  in  curls  down 
her  back,  then  her  beautiful  eyes  are  a 
heavenly  blue!  As  she  entered  the  hut  we  all 
held  our  breath.  I  was  inclined  to  be  pro- 
voked with  her  father  for  letting  her  go, 
for  though  tall  for  her  age  she  is  nothing 
more  than  a  child.  After  waiting  some  time, 
I  became  anxious,  and  asked  one  of  the  men 
of  the  party,  who  speaks  Spanish,  to  go  after 
her.  When  they  joined  us  we  saw  that  they 
were  both  very  much  moved  and  overcome  by 
something  that  had  happened.  When  we 
were  able  to  be  alone  with  Mr.  Cushing  he 
told  us  of  the  very  remarkable  scene  that  he 
had  witnessed  on  entering  the  hut.    When  the 


62  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

child  first  went  into  the  hut  about  twenty 
dark  swarthy  Catholic  Indians  were  there, 
down  on  their  knees,  praying  with  extraordi- 
nary fervor  to  the  Virgin.  The  child,  feeling 
no  fear,  went  to  the  middle  of  the  room  before 
they  noticed  her,  and  when  they  looked  up 
and  saw  her,  it  happened  that  just  at  that 
moment  a  ray  of  sunshine  fell  upon  her,  and 
as  they  had  never  seen  so  fair  a  person  before, 
they  took  her  for  a  vision  come  to  them  in 
answer  to  their  prayer.  They  crawled  on 
hands  and  knees  to  her,  kissing  the  hem  of 
her  garment.  The  child  put  her  hands  on 
their  black  swarthy  heads  and  prayed  that 
some  day  God  would  allow  her  to  devote  her 
life  to  the  uplifting  of  the  poor  and  suffering 
ones  of  this  world,  such  as  these.  It  has  evi- 
dently made  a  great  impression  upon  her,  and 
I  pray  with  all  my  heart  that  her  prayer  may 
be  answered,  and  that  she  will  feel  the  re- 
sponsibility that  all  good  women  should  feel 
in  the  use  of  the  great  power  that  is  given 
to  us  to  be  an  influence  for  good  in  a  woman's 
way  on  all  who  came  in  contact  with  us. 


V 


We  had  hardly  recovered  from  the  excite- 
ment of  the  visit  to  the  hut,  when  three  days 
afterwards  we  met  on  the  road  a  very  hand- 
some young  Mexican,  wearing  the  picturesque 
costume  usually  worn  by  the  swells  of  the 
country,  consisting  of  a  light-colored  cloth 
suit,  with  trousers  rather  large  at  the  feet, 
and  many  rows  of  buttons  down  the  side;  the 
jacket  had  also  brass  buttons  and  was  elabo- 
rately embroidered.  With  this  they  wear  the 
national  sombrero.  His  saddle  and  bridle 
were  richly  ornamented  with  gold  and  silver, 
and  the  saddle-blanket  heavily  embroidered  in 
gold  and  silver  to  match.  Some  time  after  he 
had  passed  us,  we  saw  him  returning  at  full 
gallop  with  something  blue  in  his  hand  which 
he  waved  at  us.  We  stopped,  and  when  he 
drew  his  horse  up  by  the  side  of  the  carriage 
he  pressed  the  blue  veil  that  he  held  in  his 

63 


64  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

hand,  first  to  his  lips  and  then  to  his  heart, 
and  with  a  profound  bow  handed  it  to  Clarice, 
looking  at  her  with  the  most  intense  admira- 
tion. She  was  so  overjoyed  at  recovering  her 
veil,  that  she  was  very  profuse  in  her  thanks — 
and  not  knowing  where  to  stop  for  the  night, 
we  asked  his  advice.  As  it  was  late  in  the 
afternoon,  he  advised  us  not  to  go  on  much 
further;  as  a  mile  or  two  beyond  was  the 
gate  to  his  ranch  he  begged  that  we  would 
accept  of  his  hospitality  for  the  night,  or  for 
many  days,  weeks  or  months,  saying  that 
every  moment  that  we  honored  his  home  with 
our  presence  would  be  to  him  a  joy  and  hap- 
piness beyond  words. 

We  declined  his  most  pressing  and  gen- 
erous invitation  with  many  thanks  and  pro- 
ceeded on  our  way.  We  passed  his  gate,  and 
drove  some  distance  further  on;  as  the  road 
was  in  good  condition  and  it  was  a  beautiful 
night,  we  were  glad  of  the  chance  to  drive  as 
late  as  possible.  We  found  a  good  place,  and 
settled  ourselves  for  the  night;  being  very 
tired  we  were  all  sleeping  when  the  noise  of 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  65 

approaching  horses  awoke  us.  It  was  our 
young  Mexican;  he  had  two  carriages,  each 
drawn  by  four  horses,  and  had  come  to  fetch 
us  to  a  dance  that  he  was  giving  to  the  beauti- 
ful Senorita.  While  very  profuse  in  his 
apologies  he  was  very  earnest  in  his  deter- 
mination to  have  us  go  with  him.  My  hus- 
band finally  consented  to  let  the  young  people 
go,  as  Mr.  Cushing  was  willing  to  go  with 
them.  They  returned  as  the  day  was  dawn- 
ing, and  gave  a  most  enthusiastic  account  of 
the  house,  the  great  courtesy  and  politeness 
of  their  host  and  of  his  mother,  whom  they 
described  as  a  most  charming  woman,  who  re- 
ceived them  very  cordially,  as  did  all  the  girls 
and  young  men.  It  must  have  been  a  most 
beautiful  entertainment,  as  the  patio  (which 
all  Mexican  houses  have)  was  illuminated, 
and  with  all  the  flowers  and  wonderful  plants, 
was  an  enchanting  sight. 

If  Clarice  had  accepted  all  the  things  the 
young  Mexican  offered  her  (including  his 
heart  and  his  hand)  she  would  have  found 
it  difficult  to  have  brought  them  with  her. 


66  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

He  begged  permission  to  write  to  her,  and 
assured  her  that  he  would  never  forget  her — 
and  would  go  to  Paris  to  see  her. 


MATAMORAS. 

The  days  following  the  dance  were  un- 
eventful, nothing  happening  of  any  interest 
until  we  reached  here,  when  it  was  with  a 
great  sigh  of  relief  that  we  entered  this  very 
unpromising  town,  for  it  meant  to  us  the  end 
of  our  wearisome  and  long  journey.  We  had 
our  usual  experience  of  driving  around  in 
search  of  rooms,  and  were  feeling  very  dis- 
couraged as  every  available  place  was  full, 
when  my  husband  met  someone  whom  he  had 
known  in  New  Orleans.  On  hearing  of  our 
difficulties,  he  kindly  offered  to  give  us  the 
use  of  a  room  at  the  back  of  a  shop,  where 
his  clerks  slept  in  cots  such  as  the  soldiers 
use.  When  my  husband  asked  him,  "  What 
will  they  do?"  "Oh,"  he  said,  "they  can 
sleep  on  the  counters  of  the  shop."  We  were 
not  very  cordially  received  by  these  young 
men  when  they  were  told  that  they  had  to 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  67 

move  out  and  give  us  the  use  of  their  not 
very  luxurious  quarters,  though  these  were 
little  better  than  the  shop  would  be.  The 
partition  between  the  two  rooms  is  only  of 
paper,  not  meeting  the  wall  on  either  side  by 
several  inches.  This  makes  it  rather  difficult 
as  the  occupants  of  both  rooms  must  avoid  the 
sides  while  dressing.  We  have  the  cots  as 
close  together  as  possible  in  the  middle  of 
the  room,  and  the  girls  dress  standing  on 
theirs.  All  conversation  must  be  scrupu- 
lously avoided ;  we  were  constantly  calling  out 
to  our  neighbors,  warning  them  of  our 
near  presence,  which  they  occasionally  for- 
got. 

Our  baths  we  take  in  the  patio;  it  is  not 
quite  such  a  struggle  with  difficulties  as  we 
had  in  Lareda.  For  among  these  young 
men  there  are  two  or  three  Englishmen  who 
have  made  a  very  decent  bathroom  on  the 
side  of  the  patio,  where  they  can  have  their 
"  tub "  very  comfortably,  and  they  have 
graciously  given  us  the  use  of  it  during  cer- 
tain hours   of   the   day.     We  have   reached 


68  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

that  condition  of  mind  that  nothing  disturbs 
us  very  much;  fortunately,  most  of  the  party 
are  young;  they  only  see  fun  in  it,  and  I 
unconsciously  imbibe  some  of  their  youthful 
spirits!  We  take  our  meals  at  a  most  ex- 
cellent restaurant  where  our  long  privation 
from  good  food  enables  us  to  appreciate  and 
do  justice  to  the  well-prepared  dishes  by  a 
first-class  French  chef.  We  have  been  so 
long  removed  from  all  contact  with  the  out- 
side world  that  to  be  once  more  in  touch  with 
it,  and  hear  of  the  events  that  have  taken 
place,  makes  me  feel  as  though  I  had  been 
asleep,  and  all  the  terrible  scenes  and  suf- 
fering that  I  have  gone  through  might  be 
some  hideous  nightmare.  Oh!  if  I  could  only 
awake  and  find  it  so.  My  darling  boy  alive, 
Richard  out  of  prison,  and  feel  that  I  could 
go  back  to  our  dear  old  home,  with  our  loved 
ones  around  us  once  more. 

But  I  must  not  allow  myself  to  dwell  on 
my  own  sorrows,  for  it  unnerves  me  and  un- 
fits me  for  my  duty  to  others — my  husband 
needs  all  the  help  and  comfort  that  I   can 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  69 

give  him,  my  other  children  all  the  love  and 
devotion  that  I  can  bestow  upon  them. 
Should  it  not  be  our  first  duty  as  well  as 
our  pleasure  to  make  those  we  love  and  all 
those  we  come  in  contact  with  happy?  With 
all  my  sorrows,  I  am  thankful  that  one  dis- 
tress has  been  spared  me,  and  that  is  the 
feeling  of  remorse,  and  I  pray  God  that  it 
may  never  enter  into  my  life. 

It  seems  to  me  that  it  must  be  the  most 
terrible  of  all  sufferings  to  know  that  we  have 
neglected  or  failed  in  our  duty  to  some  loved 
one  who  has  been  taken  from  us.  What  a 
terrible  memory  it  would  be  to  have  caused 
them  pain  or  have  been  unkind  and  unjust 
to  them  when  they  depended  upon  us  for 
their  happiness.  How  dreadful  to  have 
turned  away  from  them  seeking  our  own  self- 
ish pleasures,  forgetting  how  they  need  our 
love  and  sympathy — anything  but  that  in 
my  life.  There  is  no  sacrifice  too  great  that 
I  would  not  gladly  make  for  those  I  love,  so 
that  when  God  calls  them  from  me  there  will 
be  only  sweet  memories  of  the  happy,  lov- 


70  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

ing  life  that  we  have  had  together,  and  the 
joyous  sound  of  their  voices,  and  the  looking 

back  of  their  dear  faces  will  always  be  with 

p. 

me,   and  there  will   be  no   bitterness  in  the 
parting. 

We  have  been  watching  with  great  inter- 
est the  development  of  a  love  affair.  One 
of  the  French  officers  attached  to  Maximil- 
ian's staff  has  fallen  in  love  with  Belle.  He 
first  saw  her  at  the  restaurant  as  his  table 
was  directly  opposite  ours.  We  noticed  that 
he  was  always  there  when  we  went  in,  and 
stayed  until  we  left,  watching  Belle  most 
admiringly.  Then  she  found  beautiful  flow- 
ers at  her  place,  and  finally  he  asked  to  be 
presented — but  that  was  the  night  before  we 
were  leaving  for  Bagdad,  at  the  mouth  of  the 
Rio  Grande,  as  we  set  sail  for  Havana. 

BAGDAD. 

This  is  the  worst  place  that  we  have  seen; 
the  so-called  hotel  is  only  an  old  boat,  it 
might  have  been  a  canal  boat  dragged  ashore, 
with  the  bunks  made  into  beds  for  those  who 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  71 

were  unfortunate  enough  to  have  to  stop  here 
over  night.  We  were  not  surprised  on  our 
arrival  to  find  that  our  friend  the  French 
officer,  Count  de  Sombreuil,  had  preceded  us, 
and  had  brought  fruit,  flowers,  and  many- 
things  that  added  much  to  our  comfort. 
After  we  had  dined  together,  and  had  gone  to 
our  rooms  in  the  upper  part  of  this  extraor- 
dinarily constructed  house,  we  heard  strains  of 
very  sweet  music  under  our  windows;  in  our 
haste  to  look  out,  we  forgot  the  large  earthen 
jars  filled  with  water  that  are  kept  in  all 
Mexican  windows.  We  had  four  windows  in 
a  room,  each  of  us  went  to  a  window,  and  as 
we  did  so  we  knocked  over  the  jars;  so  the 
contents  of  the  four  large  jars  went  down  in 
a  stream  on  the  heads  of  the  musicians ;  while 
it  was  entirely  accidental,  it  really  seemed  as 
if  they  were  knocked  over  by  agreement,  as  it 
was  simultaneous.  This  stream  of  cold  water 
cooled  their  ardour,  for  instantly  they  stopped 
playing,  no  more  music  was  heard,  and  this 
morning  we  were  not  surprised  to  hear  that 
the  Count  had  left,  as  it  was  he  who  sere- 


72  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

naded  Belle.  I  doubt  if  we  ever  hear  from 
him,  or  see  him  again. 

This  place  is  really  nothing  more  than  a 
stretch  of  sand  with  a  few  wretched  huts  on 
it,  and  to  give  it  such  an  important  name  is 
ridiculous.  No  ships  can  come  up  to  it,  so 
that  it  is  not  even  a  harbor. 

They  have  come  to  tell  us  that  the  sailing 
vessel  on  which  we  are  going  to  Havana  has 
arrived  outside  the  bar,  and  that  we  must 
cross  this  terrible  bar,  which  is  very  rough, 
in  small  sailing  boats,  and  that  we  shall  prob- 
ably got  a  thorough  soaking.  As  we  have  no 
good  clothes  to  spoil,  we  don't  feel  so  badly 
about  it.  The  boats  are  ready,  so  I  must 
stop! 

On  board  sailing  vessel. 
What  a  terrible  experience  we  have  had, 
it  was  not  a  case  of  getting  soaked  once,  but 
many  times.  It  was  difficult  after  being  en- 
gulfed by  a  great  wave  to  know  for  a  mo- 
ment or  two  if  we  were  still  in  the  boat  or 
thrown  out  into  the  water;  it  is  marvelous 


fi     [(  Mexican VMs<Y$lfctt§, 

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.'uttint»&<W&&M0>* 


MEXICAN  WATER  JARS 
From  a  drawing  by  Rosalie  Urquhart 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  73 

how  we  ever  got  across  without  one  of  us 
being  drowned.  Then  came  the  great  diffi- 
culty of  getting  on  board  of  this  vessel;  we 
had  to  wait  until  a  wave  would  lift  us  to  the 
side  of  it,  then  take  our  turn  in  being  hauled 
up  to  the  deck  by  the  sailors  in  any  way  by 
which  they  could  get  a  good  hold  upon  us. 
Their  grip  was  so  rough  as  to  send  us  rolling 
over  the  deck,  and  I  am  not  sure  but  what 
some  of  us  were  taken  by  the  hair  of  our 
heads,  judging  from  our  disheveled  condition. 
But  we  lost  all  thought  of  ourselves  in  our 
great  anxiety  about  James;  it  seemed  impos- 
sible to  get  him  on  board,  he  is  so  heavy, 
weighs  two  hundred  and  twenty-five  pounds. 
After  several  unsuccessful  attempts  the  sail- 
ors put  a  rope  around  his  waist  and  under  his 
arms  and  hoisted  him  on  board  by  the  means 
of  a  pulley,  but  it  took  time  and  patience 
to  accomplish  it.  I  was  terribly  afraid  the 
ropes  might  slip  or  break,  or  he  might  be  in- 
jured in  some  way;  it  was  such  a  relief  when 
they  finally  got  him  safely  on  board.  We 
have  changed  our  clothes,  everything  we  had 


74  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

on  is  ruined.  While  they  were  not  of  any 
value,  they  were  an  important  part  of  our 
scanty  wardrobe. 

It  is  a  most  lovely  afternoon,  only  the  sea 
is  rough,  but  it  has  cleared  since  we  came  on 
board.  We  cannot  help  but  wonder  why 
the  vessel  does  not  start,  as  we  were  told  we 
must  be  on  board  before  noon,  so  that  she  could 
sail  at  one  o'clock,  and  now  the  sun  is  setting, 
and  we  have  not  started.  There  are  only 
four  cabins.  We  are  the  only  passengers  and 
my  husband  thought  that  he  had  taken  them 
all.  He  was  very  much  surprised  to  know  that 
one  had  been  reserved  for  a  French  officer, 
and  that  the  vessel  was  waiting  for  him.  He 
had  sent  a  large  sum  of  money  to  the  captain 
to  remain  until  he  could  go  to  INI  at  amor  as 
and  obtain  a  leave  of  absence;  if  successful, 
he  would  return  before  sunset.  We  are  all 
excitement  about  his  coming,  for  we  realize 
that  it  is  Belle's  admirer,  and  we  are  rather 
relieved  to  know  that  he  left  Bagdad  before 
his  musicians  received  their  drenching.  The 
sun  is  down,  and  the  captain  only  agreed  to 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  75 

wait  for  him  until  night,  as  he  would  then 
have  had  sufficient  time  to  go  to  Matamoras 
and  return,  if  he  had  obtained  his  leave. 

It  is  dark!  and  he  has  not  come,  so  we  are 
sailing. 


VI 


Our  first  day  on  board. 

This  small  but  comfortable  sailing  vessel 
is  owned  by  the  Captain,  who  is  a  splendid 
type  of  a  Norseman,  and  evidently  looks 
upon  his  ship  as  his  most  precious  possession, 
and  speaks  of  it  as  though  it  was  the  love 
of  his  life.  The  day  after  we  left  he  came 
to  the  cabin  with  a  letter,  which  he  gave  my 
husband.  It  was  from  the  Count  to  Belle,  and 
was  to  be  given  to  her  in  the  event  of  his  not 
being  able  to  sail  with  us.  In  this  letter  he 
tells  her  of  his  great  love  for  her,  and  his 
intention  of  following  her  to  Paris,  when  he 
hopes  to  win  her  love  and  marry  her. 

We  are  thoroughly  enjoying  the  sea  trip, 
being  good  sailors;  we  don't  in  the  least 
mind  an  occasional  squall,  which  is  to  be  ex- 
pected at  this  season  of  the  year  in  the  Gulf 
of   Mexico.      We   have   had   some   heavenly 

76 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  77 

days,  with  smooth  sea  and  wind  enough  to 
fill  the  sails,  so  that  we  go  skimming  over 
the  water  like  a  bird.  The  nights  are  beauti- 
ful, and  with  a  temperature  that  makes  it  de- 
lightful on  decks  so  that  we  are  tempted  to 
spend  most  of  the  night  there,  and  rarely  go 
down  to  our  cabins  until  very  nearly  dawn. 
Captain  Hansen  is  so  pleased  at  our  appre- 
ciation of  his  dear  ship  that  there  is  nothing 
he  will  not  do  for  us — we  shall  be  almost 
sorry  to  reach  Havana.  There  is  certainly 
something  very  fascinating  about  a  sailing 
vessel,  when  the  wind  is  favorable  and  the 
sails  are  full,  and  you  feel  yourself  gliding 
rapidly  over  the  water,  with  no  motion  or 
vibration  of  machinery;  one  has  the  sensation 
of  flying.  We  grudge  the  days  as  they  pass 
by,  for  it  has  been  such  a  complete  rest  for 
us,  and  we  are  all  feeling  greatly  benefited 
by  it. 

This  is  our  seventh  day.  The  Captain 
tells  us  that  to-morrow  we  shall  see  the  shores 
of  Cuba,  but  unless  we  have  a  favorable  wind 
we  shall  not  be  able  to  enter  the  harbor,  as 


78  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

it  is  necessary  for  us  to  do  so  before  the  sun- 
set gun  fires;  otherwise  we  must  stay  outside 
until  morning. 

HAVANA, 

JULY  1ST. 

We  were  very  unlucky  yesterday  in  having 
a  head  wind  so  that  we  were  tacking  all  day 
in  sight  of  Havana,  and  just  missed  by  a  few 
minutes  being  able  to  enter  the  harbor  before 
the  gun  fired.  This  morning  we  entered  soon 
after  sunrise,  and  what  a  wonderfully  beau- 
tiful sight  greeted  us!  We  were  well  repaid 
for  having  got  up  at  the  break  of  day,  for 
as  the  sun  rose  there  gradually  came  out  of 
the  mist,  first  the  picturesque  old  fort,  then 
the  city  with  its  various-colored  houses  sur- 
rounded by  gardens  of  tropical  vegetation 
and  flowers,  then  the  outline  of  the  tops  of 
the  feathery  palms  against  the  gradually  red- 
dening sky,  making  a  picture  never  to  be 
forgotten.  One  hates  to  think  that  this  very 
picturesque,  quaint  city  may  all  be  changed 
some  day  with  the  introduction  of  modern 
improvements  and  better  sanitary  conditions, 


HAVANA  HARBOR 

From  a  drawing  by  Rosalie   Urquhart 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  79 

which  I  am  sorry  to  say  it  sadly  needs. 
While  it  may  become  healthier,  it  will  neces- 
sarily lose  much  of  its  picturesqueness  and 
foreign  appearance,  and  I  hope  they  will  not 
paint  the  houses  all  the  same  color. 

There  never  was  any  vehicle  so  fascinating 
as  the  Spanish  volante,  with  its  long  shafts, 
and  peculiar  swaying  motion,  and  the  pos- 
tilion in  his  gay  and  festive  costume.  They 
are  nearly  always  good-looking,  and  very 
polite. 

It  was  very  hot  coming  from  the  ship;  we 
had  a  long  dusty  drive  and  were  very  thirsty; 
when  we  reached  the  hotel  we  asked  for  a 
cool  drink;  one  of  our  friends  advised  us  to 
try  a  pine-apple,  and  we  ordered  some. 
Great  was  our  astonishment  when  we  were 
given  each  a  whole  pine-apple  in  a  deep  soup 
plate;  they  had  been  peeled,  and  so  tender 
were  they  that  we  only  had  to  use  a  fork  in 
taking  them  apart  (they  are  never  cut  in 
slices) .  They  were  very  cold  and  perfectly 
delicious,  so  juicy  that  we  had  a  plate  full 
of  this  cool  and  most  refreshing  liquid,  sweet 


80  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

enough  not  to  need  sugar.  The  fruit  is  en- 
tirely different  from  what  it  is  when  picked 
green  and  ripened  en  route. 

2d  day. 
Last  night,  as  we  were  passing  through 
one  of  the  dark  passages  of  the  hotel,  we 
saw  approaching  us  a  lady  with  the  most 
beautiful  ornament,  in  her  hair,  of  emeralds; 
they  were  very  brilliant,  most  unusually  so! 
We  were  desirous  to  see  them  in  the  light, 
so  we  followed  her  into  the  drawing-room, 
but  great  was  our  surprise,  on  entering  the 
lighted  room,  to  find  that  she  had  nothing 
in  her  hair,  which  was  very  black.  We  won- 
dered what  was  the  matter  with  our  eyes! 
Had  we  been  dreaming?  We  were  so  close 
to  her  that,  had  she  taken  off  the  ornament, 
we  must  have  seen  her.  We  had  become  so 
interested  in  her  that  we  watched  her  until 
she  went  out  on  the  balcony  where  there  was 
no  light.  To  our  astonishment  the  emeralds 
re-appeared  in  her  hair,  and  were  even  more 
brilliant  than  when  we  had  first  seen  them. 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  81 

While  we  were  in  this  bewildered  state  of 
mind,  a  friend  joined  us,  who  had  been  liv- 
ing for  some  time  in  Havana,  and  we  ap- 
pealed to  him  for  an  explanation.  With 
great  amusement  he  told  us  it  was  a  beetle,  a 
large  edition  of  our  fire-fly,  that  in  the  dark 
gives  out  a  brilliant  light  which  is  green  like 
an  emerald.  The  ladies  wear  them  in  a  fine 
black  net,  which  is  pinned  into  their  black 
hair,  and  the  beetle,  being  black,  does  not 
show — even  in  a  strong  light. 

A  week  later. 
We  have  been  reveling  in  the  luxury  of 
shopping.  James  has  given  us  carte  blanche 
to  replenish  our  wardrobes;  the  many  ex- 
quisite thin  materials  that  they  have  here  are 
very  tempting,  as  they  make  lovely  dresses. 
So  our  days  have  been  spent  at  dressmakers' 
and  lingerie  shops.  Some  of  the  party  had 
only  the  dresses  they  wore  ashore ;  the  Custom 
House  officers  were  amazed  at  the  emptiness 
of  our  trunks,  and  at  our  general  appearance 
as  well.    However  amused  they  may  have  been, 


82  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

with  the  good  manners  of  the  Spanish  they 
were  too  polite  to  let  us  see  it.  It  has  been 
a  great  pleasure  to  find  here  our  old  friend 
General  William  Preston,  whom  we  have 
known  for  years;  he  is  a  very  distinguished 
man,  having  held  with  great  honor  many 
official  positions,  and  was  representing  this 
country  at  the  Court  of  Spain  when  the  war 
broke  out,  when  he  resigned  and  entered  the 
diplomatic  service  of  the  Confederacy.  With 
him  on  his  staff  is  Captain  Walter  Fane. 
The  General  called  his  attention  to  us,  when 
we  entered  the  dining-room  just  after  our 
arrival,  and  possessing  a  keen  sense  of  humor, 
our  forlorn  appearance  was  too  much  for  him, 
and  he  made  most  unmerciful  fun  of  us  to  the 
amusement  of  everyone  at  his  table.  My 
daughter,  it  seems,  was  the  one  who  most 
attracted  his  attention,  and  called  forth  his 
severest  criticism.  I  am  afraid  the  poor  dear 
child  did  look  rather  ungainly  and  awkward, 
as  her  only  dress  was  made  of  a  material 
that  the  sea  air  caused  to  shrink  several 
inches,  bringing  it  up  to  her  shoe-tops.     She 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  83 

is  an  overgrown  child,  in  size  a  woman,  but 
in  all  other  ways  so  like  a  child  with  her 
lovely,  sweet,  innocent  face  that  I  rather  re- 
sented his  laughing  at  her  and  told  General 
Preston  so.  He  consoled  me  by  saying, 
"  Just  wait  till  she  gets  some  new  clothes 
in  which  she  will  look  so  lovely  that  Walter 
Fane  will  be  down  on  his  knees  to  her."  The 
General  was  right;  the  beautiful  new  clothes 
have  made  a  wonderful  difference.  No  more 
laughing  remarks  are  made,  the  young  men 
are  only  too  eager  to  be  presented,  and  no 
one  more  so  than  Walter  Fane.  We  are  be- 
ing tremendously  feted,  invitations  of  all 
kinds  are  received.  While  I  rarely  ever  go 
anywhere,  I  let  Belle  take  Clarice.  Last 
night  we  went  to  the  Opera  to  hear  Lucia, 
which  was  a  great  treat,  as  it  has  been  so 
long  since  we  have  heard  any  good  music. 
The  Opera  was  well  given,  and  the  house  very 
attractive  with  the  open  boxes  like  the  Opera 
house  in  New  Orleans,  showing  off  to  great 
advantage  the  toilets  of  the  handsome  women. 
Belle  created  quite  a  sensation;  I  never  saw 


84  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

her  look  handsomer  and  more  fascinating ;  she 
had  no  end  of  admirers.  Clarice  was  also 
very  lovely  in  her  white  dress,  unconscious 
that  she  was  the  object  of  much  admiration, 
and  no  one  was  more  devoted  to  her  than 
Walter  Fane. 

We  have  been  here  three  weeks,  of  which 
we  have  enjoyed  every  moment,  although  it 
is  very  hot.  Like  all  Southerners  we  never 
go  out  in  the  middle  of  the  day,  but  take 
advantage  of  the  freshness  of  the  early  morn- 
ing, going  out  again  after  sunset.  I  can 
see  that  James  is  becoming  very  impatient 
to  get  us  away,  as  there  is  a  rumor  that 
there  is  yellow  fever  in  the  hotel;  we  know 
there  is  a  great  deal  of  it  in  the  city.  I 
am  not  afraid  of  it  for  myself,  but  I  am 
anxious  on  account  of  Clarice.  We  are 
awaiting  the  arrival  of  a  coasting  steamer, 
that  is  expected  here  any  day  going  directly 
to  Liverpool,  so  we  are  hoping  to  get  away 
very  soon. 


CLARICE 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  85 

AUGUST   1ST. 

The  steamer  has  arrived  and  we  go  on 
board  to-morrow;  we  hear  the  most  awful 
accounts  of  her  condition,  that  she  is  very 
dirty.  James  sent  his  valet  and  my  maid 
to  clean  our  cabins,  and  to  make  a  list  of 
what  will  be  needed  to  make  us  more  com- 
fortable. We  are  going  to  take  a  large  quan- 
tity of  fruit  and  fresh  vegetables,  also  barrels 
of  ice,  as  they  have  none  on  board.  From 
all  accounts  we  shall  have  very  poor  food. 
Our  friends  predict  the  most  terrible  things 
for  us,  as  the  steamer  has  been  for  weeks 
putting  in  at  all  the  ports  on  the  coast  and 
islands,  without  stopping  for  repairs  or  gen- 
eral cleaning,  but  we  cannot  help  ourselves; 
we  must  leave  here  and  take  our  chances,  for 
I  have  known  since  yesterday  that  there  are 
cases  of  yellow  fever  in  the  hotel. 

ON  BOARD  S.  S.  "  ST.  THOMAS." 

A  week  later. 
Nothing  we  heard  about  this  ship  was  in  any 
way  exaggerated.    Her  condition  is  too  awful ! ! ! 


86  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

dirty  in  every  way.  It  was  not  a  matter  of  one 
day,  but  many  days,  before  Jack  and  my  maid 
could  clean  our  cabins  so  that  we  could  sleep 
in  them.  We  have  all  slept  on  deck ;  the  mat- 
tresses or  hammocks  are  brought  up  after 
dark,  and  we  do  not  go  to  the  cabins  in  the 
morning  until  we  are  driven  down  by  the 
sailors,  who,  I  am  glad  to  say,  do  wash  the 
decks.  Some  of  the  crew  have  died  and  been 
buried  at  sea.  It  seems  that  at  the  last  port 
where  the  ship  stopped  to  coal  there  was  prevail- 
ing an  epidemic  of  the  worst  type  of  tropical 
fever,  which  is  generally  fatal ;  not  only  num- 
bers of  the  crew,  but  some  of  the  steerage 
passengers  have  died  of  it.  All  danger  of 
contagion  will  not  be  over  for  ten  days,  in- 
deed we  shall  not  feel  free  from  anxiety  until 
we  get  into  the  Atlantic,  and  sufficiently  far 
North  to  have  cold  weather.  Nothing  could 
be  worse  than  the  food;  fortunately  we  have 
the  fruit,  vegetables,  and  barrels  of  ice  that 
James  had  put  on  board ;  also  a  friend  of  ours 
had  all  the  life  boats  filled  with  fruit  and 
provisions  of  all  kinds  that  could  be  bought 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  87 

in  Havana  to  add  to  our  comfort;  without 
these  we  should  be  in  a  very  bad  way. 

One  rather  amusing  thing  happened  the 
day  we  sailed.  One  of  Clarice's  friends  asked 
her  what  she  would  like  to  have  on  the  voy- 
age. She  replied,  "  Something  to  read." 
"  Very  well,  I  will  see  that  you  have  plenty 
of  books,"  he  added.  After  we  had  sailed 
her  father  asked  her  what  was  in  the  very 
large  box  addressed  to  her.  She  opened  it, 
and  great  was  her  surprise  to  find  two  dozen 
most  beautiful  and  very  costly  books;  but  still 
greater  was  her  astonishment  to  see  her  father 
on  reading  the  titles  throw  one  after  the  other 
into  the  sea.  Her  friend  was  evidently  not 
a  scholar,  and  had  simply  given  the  book- 
seller an  order  for  twenty-four  of  the  most 
expensive  and  handsomely  bound  books  he 
had,  regardless  of  the  character  or  title  of 
them.  Poor  child!  she  was  heart-broken  to 
have  all  her  beautiful  books  (at  least  in  ap- 
pearance) thrown  into  the  sea. 

I  have  not  been  able  to  write  for  many 
days,   as  after  we  got  out  of  the   Gulf  of 


88  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

Mexico  into  the  Atlantic,  we  have  had  ter- 
rible weather,  very  rough  seas,  and  high 
winds  with  constant  rains.  The  necessity  of 
sleeping  in  our  cabins  has  been  dreadful,  we 
slept  on  deck  even  when  it  rained  and  was 
most  disagreeable;  anything  seemed  prefer- 
able to  going  down  into  our  stuffy,  bad- 
smelling  cabins;  but  when  it  got  very  rough 
the  Captain  refused  to  allow  us  to  remain 
above  as  he  thought  it  was  not  safe. 

It  is  two  weeks  to-day  since  we  sailed,  and 
if  all  goes  well  we  may  reach  England  in 
ten  days;  we  are  tremendously  relieved  that 
all  danger  of  taking  the  fever  is  over;  in  fact, 
we  are  all  in  better  health  than  when  we 
sailed,  particularly  since  we  have  had  cooler 
weather. 

Our  dear  friend  General  Preston  is  with 
us,  he  is  the  life  of  the  party,  as  he  is  always 
in  a  good  humor  and  full  of  fun;  there  are 
also  Captain  Scott  from  Mobile,  and  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Goldenell,  an  American  married  to  an 
Englishwoman,  both  of  whom  are  very  agree- 
able and  pleasant  traveling  companions,  and 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  89 

one  or  two  other  passengers.  It  is  very  for- 
tunate that  there  are  not  many  on  board,  as 
the  steamer  has  a  limited  number  of  cabins, 
and  the  provisions,  bad  as  they  are,  are  get- 
ting very  low ;  each  day  we  are  reduced  to  one 
dish  less.  They  tell  us  that  if  we  do  not  reach 
England  within  a  few  days,  we  shall  indeed 
be  reduced  to  very  slim  rations.  We  have 
exhausted  our  supply  of  vegetables,  fruit, 
and  all  other  provisions,  and  what  our  good 
friend  had  put  in  the  life  boats  for  us  was 
forgotten  the  first  storm  we  encountered,  and 
until  hours  afterwards  when  it  was  thought 
of,  but  it  had  by  that  time  been  completely 
spoilt,  as  these  boats  are  not  covered. 

SEPTEMBER   3RD. 

Land  is  in  sight,  and  none  too  soon,  for  we 
have  heard  rumors  for  the  last  ten  days  that 
the  ship  is  not  in  a  seaworthy  condition. 
Last  night  she  sprung  a  leak,  and  all  hands 
worked  at  the  pumps  during  the  night. 
There  was  no  immediate  danger,  as  we  had  a 
perfectly  smooth  sea  and  clear  weather,  but 


90  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

there  seems  to  be  very  little  doubt  in  the 
minds  of  the  men  that  if  we  had  encountered 
a  storm  during  the  last  days,  the  ship  would 
have  foundered,  and  nothing  could  have 
saved  us.  It  is  with  feelings  of  great  grati- 
tude and  rejoicing  that  we  see  the  land 
and  know  that  we  are  in  reach  of  help  if 
needed,  and  that  we  shall  soon  be  on  shore. 
We  are  destined  to  experience  what  short 
rations  mean  on  ship-board  as  well  as  when 
traveling  across  the  wilds  of  Texas,  for  our 
food  has  been  portioned  out  to  us  in  small 
quantities  these  last  ten  days.  We  have  com- 
plained less  than  the  other  passengers,  owing 
to  our  former  discipline  in  this  respect  and 
have  made  rather  a  joke  of  it,  laughing  un- 
mercifully at  the  complaints  and  grumblings 
of  the  others,  to  their  indignation. 


VII 

LIVERPOOL. 

Once  more  safely  on  shore,  and  to  our 
great  joy  and  surprise  our  son  Charles,  with 
his  very  pretty  and  attractive  young  wife, 
met  us  on  our  arrival.  My  nieces,  who  are 
to  me  as  though  they  were  my  children,  are 
here  also,  so  it  is  like  a  home-coming  for  us 
poor  weary  travelers.  With  our  English  an- 
cestors and  traditions,  England  must  be  to 
those  coming  from  the  Southern  States  like 
the  mother  country;  apart  from  this,  we  feel 
that  in  their  hearts  the  English  people  sym- 
pathize with  us  in  our  struggle  for  freedom, 
and  would  like  to  have  us  succeed,  even  if 
they  do  not  openly  declare  so. 

We  are  comfortably  settled  in  lodgings  such 
as  you  find  only  in  England,  where  you  have 
all  the  comforts  and  privacy  of  home,  with- 
out the  responsibilities.     The  landlady  prob- 

91 


92  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

ably  has  lived  for  years  with  one  of  the  great 
families,  and  is  an  excellent  cook.  She  mar- 
ried the  butler,  and  they  set  up  an  establish- 
ment for  themselves.  It  all  seems  very  peace- 
ful and  delightful,  making  us  feel  as  though 
we  had,  indeed,  reached  a  safe  harbor  after 
so  much  traveling,  and  the  many  hardships, 
dangers,  and  difficulties  that  we  have  had  to 
endure. 

Dear  old  England,  how  I  love  it!  with  its 
centuries  of  civilization  and  traditions,  mak- 
ing every  place  one  of  great  historical  inter- 
est. How  little  one  can  appreciate  the  Eng- 
lish people  until  you  have  visited,  and  learned 
to  know  them,  in  their  comfortable  and  beau- 
tiful homes.  It  is  there  that  you  see  the 
English  gentleman  at  his  best,  and  on  his 
country  estates  he  is  always  a  most  cordial 
and  charming  host.  The  Englishwoman,  who 
is  generally  shy,  and  more  reserved  than  we 
are,  becomes  gracious,  and  does  the  honors 
of  her  home  with  great  simplicity  and  charm. 
This  well-regulated  and  delightful  life  is  a 
great  contrast  to  what  it  is  in  a  new  country, 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  93 

where  much  is  crude  and  often  almost  bar- 
barous, with  its  vulgar  money  estimate  of 
everything.  I  am  afraid  my  husband  is  right 
when  he  calls  me  a  born  aristocrat.  I  can- 
not help  it!  I  love  the  refinement  and  well- 
established  customs  of  old  countries,  with  the 
well-regulated  routine  of  domestic  life  such  as 
exists  here. 

Some  weeks  later. 

In  Paris. 

After  a  most  delightful  visit  to  Leaming- 
ton, where  we  went  to  attend  the  wedding 
of  my  cousin,  who  married  Dr.  How  of  Balti- 
more, we  spent  a  few  days  at  Stratford-on- 
Avon,  and  saw  all  that  was  interesting  there, 
and  also  Warwick.  We  have  had  a  most 
enjoyable  trip,  and  were  very  loath  to  leave 
England.  It  was  necessary,  however,  for  us 
to  come  here,  as  my  husband  wishes  to  see  us 
settled  for  the  winter,  and  find  a  school  for 
Clarice  before  he  leaves  to  return  to  Mexico, 
where  he  has  large  interests. 

We  are   indulging  in  the   great   pleasure 


94  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

that  all  women  feel,  when  they  can  shop  in 
Paris.  The  things  we  bought  in  Havana  are 
not  suitable  for  the  winter  climate  here,  and 
they  do  not  seem  to  us  quite  so  wonderfully 
beautiful  as  they  did  when  we  bought  them. 
I  think  we  are  becoming  more  fastidious  and 
difficult  to  please  than  we  were  on  reaching 
Havana. 

PARIS, 
OCTOBER. 

Beautiful,  fascinating  Paris !  But  with  all  its 
brightness  and  the  splendor  that  exists  under 
the  third  Empire,  it  does  not  appeal  to  me; 
my  heart  goes  back  to  England.  However, 
I  know  that  I  must  stay  here  for  the  winter 
on  account  of  Clarice.  We  are  looking  for 
an  apartment ;  while  we  have  seen  many,  none 
of  them  are  suitable,  so  few  are  even  clean, 
and  as  yet  we  have  not  seen  one  with  a  bath- 
room. 

A  curious  thing  happened  last  night  while 
we  were  at  the  theater,  just  before  the  close 
of  the  piece.    During  the  last  act  we  noticed 


E 

H 

Pi 
W 
Q 

< 

Q 

w 

> 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  95 

a  man  who  had  been  for  some  time  looking 
steadily  at  our  box  through  his  opera-glass, 
but  as  he  stood  in  a  passage  where  there  was 
very  little  light,  this  prevented  us  from  see- 
ing his  face.  On  coming  out  we  thought  we 
saw  in  the  crowd  our  friend  the  French  offi- 
cer of  Matamoras.  It  seemed  so  unlikely 
that  we  dismissed  the  idea  as  being  improb- 
able. In  the  course  of  a  few  days  we  found 
out  that  we  were  not  mistaken,  as  he  was  the 
man  who  had  been  looking  so  long  at  Belle, 
and  followed  us  to  our  hotel.  The  next  day 
he  came  to  the  hotel  and  bribed  Jack  (my 
husband's  valet)  to  tell  him  our  plans;  on 
hearing  that  we  were  looking  for  an  apart- 
ment, he  gave  Jack  the  address  of  one,  and 
told  him  to  be  sure  and  have  us  go  to  look 
at  it.  When  he  went  home  to  his  mother,  he 
informed  her  that  an  American  family  were 
coming  to  look  at  the  apartment  that  she 
wanted  to  let,  and  that  she  must  allow  them 
to  have  it  on  their  own  terms  as  it  meant 
everything  to  him  and  his  future  happiness. 
This  apartment  was  a  part  of  a  large  and 


96  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

very  handsome  private  house  of  a  French 
lady  of  high  rank  and  wealth.  It  was  not 
only  beautiful,  and  very  handsomely  fur- 
nished, but  it  was  perfect  in  all  of  its  ap- 
pointments, as  it  had  been  furnished  for  her 
only  daughter  at  the  time  of  her  marriage. 
The  son-in-law  having  recently  received  a 
foreign  appointment,  she  was  left  alone  in  this 
enormous  house  with  her  bachelor  son,  and  as 
he  was  in  the  army,  he  was  frequently  away 
for  long  intervals.  The  dear  old  lady,  with 
the  usual  French  thought  of  economy,  had 
the  idea  that  if  she  could  find  some  desirable 
people  who  would  be  congenial  to  her,  she 
would  be  willing  to  rent  this  part  of  her 
house.  Her  son  impressed  upon  her  that  it 
was  most  important  for  her  not  to  give  her 
real  name  to  these  Americans  that  were  com- 
ing until  they  had  decided  to  take  the  apart- 
ment, and  it  became  necessary  to  do  so. 
When  we  called  to  look  at  the  apartment  the 
next  day,  Count  de  Sombreuil  having  told  his 
mother  that  we  were  very  wealthy,  she  had  at 
once  the  thought  of  a  possible  rich  American 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  97 

daughter-in-law,   so   she   did  not  hesitate   to 
make  such  terms  as  would  be  acceptable  to  us. 

Of  course  we  were  more  than  j)leased  with 
the  spacious  and  beautiful  apartment  on  the 
ground  floor,  the  large  salon  opened  out  onto 
a  most  lovely  garden  where  there  was  a  foun- 
tain, and  great  profusion  of  flowers,  servants 
in  handsome  livery  and  every  appearance  of 
great  wealth.  We  were  simply  amazed  when 
told  the  price  of  it,  and  all  that  we  should 
have,  even  the  use  of  one  of  the  old  lady's 
carriages  and  horses,  also  twice  a  week  seats  in 
her  box  at  the  Opera. 

We  thought  it  much  too  good  a  bargain  to 
miss,  so  James  said  he  would  not  take  it  for 
less  than  a  year.  The  old  lady  agreed  most 
willingly  to  let  us  have  it  for  any  length  of 
time  that  we  should  want  it.  The  next  day 
we  moved  in,  and  great  was  our  surprise  on 
looking  out  into  the  garden  to  see  our  friend 
the  French  officer  walking  with  the  old  lady 
as  though  it  was  his  home.  In  the  afternoon 
he  sent  to  ask  permission  to  call  on  us,  and 
explained  that  the  lady  was  his  mother,  the 


98  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

Countess  de  Sombreuil.  As  the  French 
Army  had  been  withdrawn  from  Mexico  he 
was  able  to  leave  almost  immediately  after 
we  left,  but  he  could  not  reach  Bagdad  in 
time  to  sail  with  us.  Clarice,  with  a  child's 
frankness,  said  to  him,  "Oh!  Count,  I  hope 
you  did  not  get  very  wet  when  the  water 
poured  down  on  the  musicians  at  the  time  of 
the  serenade."  He  laughed  heartily  and  re- 
plied, "  My  dear  young  friend,  I  had  left  be- 
fore it  happened,"  which  confirmed  what  we 
had  heard. 

NOVEMBER. 

We  have  been  in  our  luxurious  quarters 
just  a  month;  nothing  could  exceed  the  kind- 
ness and  generosity  of  the  dear  old  Countess, 
and  the  devotion  and  many  kind  acts  of  the 
Count.  The  Countess  sends  in  every  morn- 
ing to  know  what  hour  we  should  like  to  have 
the  carriage,  and  Belle  has  been  several  times 
to  the  Opera  with  her. 

I  have  found  an  excellent  school  in  the 
neighborhood  for  Clarice,  where  she  boards 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  99 

during  the  week;  but  spends  Saturday  and 
Sunday  with  us.  Madame  Hoffman,  who  is 
at  the  head  of  the  school,  came  to  see  me  in 
a  great  state  of  excitement,  as  she  said  that 
while  walking  in  the  Bois  with  the  girls  of 
the  school,  the  Emperor,  seeing  Clarice,  was 
so  struck  with  her  beauty  that  he  sent  one 
of  his  aide-de-camps  to  inquire  of  the  teacher 
(who  was  in  charge  of  the  girls)  the  name 
and  address  of  the  young  girl.  Madame 
Hoffman  is  very  unhappy  about  it,  but  I 
cannot  imagine  that  anything  serious  will 
come  of  it;  the  Emperor  has  probably  for- 
gotten all  about  her — she  is  such  a  child! 

A  few  days  later. 
I  have  been  very  much  upset  by  receiving 
an  invitation  to  be  present  with  my  daughter 
at  the  next  reception  to  be  given  at  the 
Palace  of  the  Tuileries.  I  have  declined  to 
go  on  account  of  my  deep  mourning,  and 
refused  for  Clarice  on  the  score  of  her  being 
too  young.  Since  my  refusal  to  attend  the 
reception  at  the  Palace  of  the  Tuileries,  the 


100  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

Emperor  has  had  Clarice  asked  to  a  small 
entertainment  for  young  people,  to  be  given 
at  the  Palace  of  one  of  the  Court  officials, 
and  it  is  known  that  he  intends  to  be  present. 
After  consulting  friends  as  to  what  I  should 
do,  they  advise  me  to  take  her  away  from 
Paris  for  the  present,  as  the  admiration  of 
the  Emperor  is  something  for  a  young  girl  to 
avoid  rather  than  seek,  so  I  am  going  to  take 
Clarice  to  London  for  a  few  weeks ;  it  is  very 
annoying,  as  it  takes  her  away  from  her 
studies. 

A  month  later. 

I  remained  away  only  ten  days,  as  I  really 
had  to  bring  Clarice  back  to  her  studies.  I 
shall  simply  not  allow  her  to  go  where  there 
is  any  chance  of  the  Emperor  seeing  her 
again. 

All  Paris  is  going  mad  over  the  beautiful 
young  Swedish  prima  donna,  Christine  Nils- 
son.  Clarice  came  home  a  few  days  ago 
very  much  excited,  as  the  evening  before 
Christine   had   dined   with    the   girls    at   the 


NAPOLEON  III 
From  a  painting  by  H.  Flandrin 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  101 

school;  she  was  visiting  the  daughter  of  the 
Swedish  Minister,  who  is  there  as  one  of  the 
scholars.  According  to  the  rules  of  the  school, 
when  a  visitor  dines  with  the  girls,  she  is 
allowed  to  select  one  of  them  to  be  her 
hostess,  besides  the  one  whose  guest  she  is. 
The  girl  selected  is  to  be  the  hostess  of  the 
evening,  and  must  fill  that  role  by  making 
herself  agreeable,  and  graciously  doing  the 
honors  of  the  occasion. 

The  girls  were  all  standing  in  their  places 
when  Christine  entered  the  dining-room,  each 
one  eagerly  hoping  in  her  heart  to  be  the 
chosen  one.  After  looking  up  and  down  the 
line  of  girls  with  their  eager  faces,  she  walked 
up  to  Clarice  and  said:  "You  fair  young 
creature,  I  want  you."  This  was  the  begin- 
ning of  a  strong  friendship  between  the  two 
that  bids  fair  to  last  for  a  long  time.  As 
great  a  pleasure  as  this  friendship  is  to 
Clarice,  I  think  I  have  even  more  pleasure 
from  it,  as  Christine  is  very  sweet  and  kind 
in  coming  to  sing ;  whenever  she  has  the  spare 
time,  she  very  generously  gives  me  the  bene- 


102  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

fit  of  it,  and  it  is  a  rare  treat,  for  I  am  a  great 
lover  of  music,  and  being  in  mourning  I  do 
not  go  to  the  Opera.  Apart  from  her  voice, 
she  has  a  charming  personality,  with  great 
beauty;  her  coloring  is  wonderful,  her  hair 
very  golden,  large  blue  eyes,  and  the  fair  skin 
that  usually  goes  with  such  hair  and  eyes. 
She  is  very  simple,  and  has  a  lovely  nature, 
spontaneous  and  like  a  child.  She  radiates 
sunshine  and  happiness  on  all  who  come  in 
contact  with  her.  I  am  \  ery  grateful  to  her 
for  the  brightness  and  cheer  that  she  has 
brought  into  my  sad  life,  and  the  great  en- 
joyment that  I  have  had  from  her  music. 
She  has  not  been  singing  very  long  in  Opera, 
as  she  has  only  recently  made  her  debut  in 
"  La  Traviata,"  when  she  sent  Clarice  a  box 
to  hear  her.  They  tell  me  the  child  was  so 
excited  that  it  was  all  they  could  do  to  keep 
her  from  falling  out  of  the  box. 

Our  colony  of  Americans  from  the  South- 
ern States  is  not  a  large  one,  but  we  are 
drawn  all  the  closer  together,  in  our  anxiety 
and  sorrow  regarding  the  sad  events  that  are 


CHRISTINE  NILSSON 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  103 

taking  place  in  our  section  of  the  country. 
What  we  hear  in  regard  to  the  treatment  of 
the  prisoners  on  Johnson's  Island,  makes  us 
very  anxious  about  Richard.  We  are  hoping 
daily  to  hear  that  he  has  been  exchanged;  we 
have  written  begging  him  to  apply  at  once 
for  leave  so  that  he  may  join  us,  for  I  am 
sure  that  he  must  be  suffering  from  the 
effects  of  his  long  imprisonment,  now  nearly 
twenty  months;  for  one  who  is  not  very 
strong,  the  long  confinement  and  lack  of 
proper  food  must  have  had  serious  effect  upon 
him. 

It  is  Belle  who  brightens  our  lives  and  fills 
them  with  interest;  her  great  charm  and  per- 
sonal fascination  draw  around  her  a  most  in- 
teresting and  clever  set  of  people  of  all  na- 
tionalities. In  her  salon  are  met  men  of  fame, 
statesmen,  diplomatists,  high  officials  of  the 
Court  and  Government;  they  meet  there  to 
discuss  the  important  political  and  current 
events  of  the  day;  she  is  the  brilliant  center 
of  all  with  her  quick  wit  and  marvelous  gift 
of  language.     The   occasional   opportunities 


104  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

given  to  Clarice,  when  she  is  at  home  on  Sat- 
urday and  Sunday,  to  meet  these  distinguished 
men  and  scholars,  who  are  making  the  history 
of  the  day,  is  greatly  appreciated  and  enjoyed 
by  her.  I  hope  that  it  may  prove  a  liberal 
education  for  her,  and  cultivate  in  her  an  in- 
terest in  higher  and  more  serious  subjects 
than  young  girls  of  her  age  usually  care 
for,  the  influence  of  which  she  will  feel  all 
throughout  her  life.  It  is  very  easy  to  enter- 
tain in  these  handsome  and  attractive  rooms, 
with  the  generous  assistance  of  the  Countess, 
who  not  only  fills  them  with  the  greatest 
variety  of  beautiful  plants  and  flowers  from 
her  conservatory,  but  insists  upon  our  having 
all  of  her  men  servants  in  their  gorgeous 
livery.  This  makes  a  great  impression  upon 
our  Southern  friends.  One  of  our  naval  offi- 
cers came  the  other  night,  and  seeing  this  evi- 
dence of  great  wealth  and  the  beautiful  sur- 
roundings, when  one  of  the  men  offered  to 
help  him  with  his  coat,  said :  "  No,  I  have 
made  a  mistake,  this  cannot  be  where  my 
friends   are   living;   we    Southerners    cannot 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  105 

afford  to  live  like  this."  But  on  the  assurance 
of  the  servant  that  we  did  live  there,  he  came 
in,  and  was  shown  into  my  sitting-room, 
where  I  receive  a  few  of  my  personal  friends, 
as  I  never  go  into  the  large  salon  on  these 
occasions.  I  could  not  help  but  be  amused 
at  his  evident  disapproval  of  our  surround- 
ings and  way  of  living;  he  took  it  so  seriously 
that  I  had  to  explain  to  him  how  it  all  hap- 
pened. 

SPRING  of  1865. 
The  winter  is  over  and  the  spring  has  come 
with  all  of  its  glorious  beauty;  nowhere  could 
it  be  more  wonderful  than  in  Paris,  all  the 
broad  streets  have  such  splendid  avenues  of 
trees,  I  believe  that  no  city  in  the  world  can 
boast  of  so  many.  I  have  heard  the  number 
estimated  as  high  as  four  hundred  thousand, 
making  a  veritable  forest.  Then  Paris  with 
all  its  attractions  has,  in  addition,  many  en- 
chanting and  interesting  places  nearby  that 
one  can  reach  in  a  short  time,  and  there  spend 
a  most  delightful  day;  such  are  St.   Cloud, 


106  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

Versailles,  St.  Germain,  where  not  only  is 
the  country  beautiful,  but  there  is  so  much 
that  is  historically  interesting  to  see.  To  me 
the  Bois  is  an  endless  source  of  amusement. 
What  could  be  more  enchanting  than  it  is, 
with  its  wealth  of  flowers  and  avenues  of 
acacia  (when  in  bloom) ,  and  beneath  them  long 
lines  of  carriages  of  all  kinds  are  ever  pass- 
ing; those  of  the  Court  with  their  glittering 
horses  and  outriders,  also  those  of  the  French 
beauties  in  their  marvelous  toilets,  and  com- 
bined with  the  varied  and  bright  uniforms  of 
the  officers,  they  make  a  brilliant  and  ever- 
changing  throng  of  people  to  watch.  But  of 
all  this  splendid  pageant  the  person  who  in- 
terests me  most  is  the  Empress  Eugenie.  I 
always  feel  a  thrill  when  I  see  her,  for  she 
is  really  most  beautiful — graceful,  and  with 
something  about  her  that  is  intensely  sym- 
pathetic. The  sweet  smile  with  which  she 
always  greets  the  people  as  she  passes  by, 
never  fails  to  fascinate  those  who  come  under 
her  spell.  She  is  one  of  those  rare  persons 
who  is  beautiful  under  all  circumstances ;  with 


THE  EMPRESS  EUGENIE 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  107 

her  marvelously  perfect  figure,  and  being  a 
remarkably  good  rider,  she  is  simply  stunning 
on  horseback.  At  night  in  ball  dress,  with 
her  wonderful  coloring,  she  is  a  vision  of 
loveliness.  Then  she  moves  with  that  ease 
and  grace  peculiar  to  the  Spanish  race;  no 
nation  possesses  it  quite  to  the  same  degree. 
One  of  the  many  stories  that  they  tell  of  her 
is,  that  on  the  occasion  of  a  great  fete  at  St. 
Cloud,  before  the  Emperor  had  asked  her  to 
marry  him,  she  was  present  wearing  a  won- 
derful Parisian  creation  of  lace  and  muslin, 
such  as  only  they  can  make,  and  in  it  she 
looked  her  loveliest.  While  leaning  over  to 
peer  into  a  basin  of  water  surrounding  one  of 
the  great  fountains,  she  lost  her  balance  and 
fell  in.  The  Emperor  came  to  her  rescue. 
According  to  the  story,  she  was  thoroughly 
drenched  and,  her  garments  being  of  very  thin 
and  transparent  material,  clung  to  her  in  such 
a  way  as  to  show  to  great  advantage  the  out- 
lines of  her  faultless  figure.  If  the  Emperor 
had  any  doubt  in  his  mind  about  asking  her 
hand  in  marriage  this  removed  it,  for  the  fol- 


108  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

lowing  day  the  engagement  was  announced. 
There  are  such  conflicting  accounts  about  her, 
she  has  her  ardent  admirers  and  devoted  fol- 
lowers, and  from  these  you  hear  nothing  but 
what  is  in  her  praise — they  tell  you  that  she  is 
most  charitable,  kind,  and  good.  Being  my- 
self one  of  her  greatest  admirers  I  prefer  to 
believe  all  the  good  that  I  hear  of  her,  and 
will  not  listen  to  any  other  account  of  her. 

We  hear  from  America  there  is  a  rumor 
that  the  prisoners  of  Johnson's  Island  are 
going  to  be  exchanged.  God  grant  that  it 
may  be  so,  and  that  when  free,  Richard  may 
be  given  a  leave  of  absence  and  join  us  here; 
this  anxiety,  and  not  being  able  to  hear  from 
him,  is  terrible. 

A  month  later. 
Not  our  hopes,  but  our  worst  fears  are  real- 
ized. It  is  a  sad  story  to  relate;  until  to-day 
I  could  not  write  it,  but  perhaps  it  may  help 
me  if  I  do  so.  General  Grant  did  what  he  could 
for  our  brave  boy,  he  sent  an  order  that  when 
the  prisoners  were  released,  instead  of  Rich- 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  109 

ard  going  up  to  be  exchanged  with  the  other 
prisoners  from  Johnson's  Island,  he  was  to 
be  brought  to  him;  but  by  some  misunder- 
standing of  the  order,  Richard  was  allowed 
to  go  with  the  others.  He  heard  those  ahead 
of  him  have  their  names  called,  and  as  each 
responded  he  was  detailed  for  exchange ;  when 
his  name  came  and  he  answered,  a  Federal 
officer  touched  him  on  the  shoulder  and 
said,  "  No,  you  come  with  me."  Poor  dear 
boy!  fearing  that  he  was  going  to  be  taken 
back  to  prison  again,  he  fainted;  owing  to  his 
weak  condition  from  the  want  of  proper  food, 
and  the  long  confinement,  he  had  not  the 
strength  to  bear  the  disappointment  and 
shock  that  it  gave  him.  It  was  some  time 
before  he  recovered  consciousness,  and  when 
he  did,  great  was  his  astonishment  to  find 
himself  in  General  Grant's  tent.  He  kept 
Richard  with  him  for  several  days  until  he 
was  stronger  and  had  recovered  from  the  ef- 
fects of  the  shock  that  he  had  received.  Gen- 
eral Grant  did  all  that  he  could  for  him; 
realizing   his   weak   condition,    and   knowing 


110  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

how  we  longed  to  see  him,  he  begged  Richard 
to  come  to  Europe  on  parole,  offering  to  be 
responsible  for  him  and  to  give  him  his  parole 
until  the  end  of  the  war.  General  Grant 
knew  only  too  well  that  our  army  could  not 
hold  out  much  longer  against  the  hordes  of 
Germans  and  other  nationalities  that  were  be- 
ing enlisted  in  the  Northern  army  in  large 
numbers,  too  great  for  our  reduced  army  to 
fight  against.  With  the  blockade  of  our 
ports,  and  no  outside  help  possible,  boys  of 
fifteen  and  younger  taking  the  place  of  the 
older  men  as  they  fell,  it  meant  that  the  end 
was  not  far  off,  when  we  must  lay  down  our 
arms  and  accept  the  inevitable  consequences  of 
defeat.  The  more  the  General  tried  to  im- 
press these  conditions  upon  my  brave  boy, 
the  more  keenly  he  felt  that  his  duty  was  to 
join  his  comrades;  it  was  not  a  moment  when 
he  could  desert  the  cause  of  his  country  in 
its  death  struggle,  when  every  man  counted 
for  so  much.  He  said,  "  Oh!  no,  General,  I 
must  go,  and  with  my  brave  companions 
defend    our    cause    to    the     end.      Greatly 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  111 

tempted  as  I  am  to  accept  your  generous 
offer  and  join  my  poor  father  and  mother, 
knowing  how  they  have  suffered  and  that  they 
need  all  the  consolation  which  I  might  be 
able  to  give  them,  my  sense  of  duty  to  the 
cause  I  have  espoused  makes  it  impossible 
for  me,  while  I  fully  appreciate  what  you 
have  offered  to  do  for  me,  to  accept  it.  Re- 
member, we  are  of  the  same  blood.  Would 
you  do  differently  if  you  were  in  my  place?  " 
"  No,"  he  replied.  "  Then,  I  beg  of  you," 
said  Richard,  "  have  me  exchanged."  But 
the  General  sent  him  under  a  flag  of  truce  to 
Richmond.  Only  a  few  days  after  reaching 
there,  before  he  received  his  appointment,  he 
was  taken  ill  with  pneumonia.  In  his  weak 
condition  there  was  no  hope  of  his  recovery 
from  the  first.  He  was  fortunately  staying 
in  the  house  of  a  dear  friend,  Miss  S.  L. 
Bayne,  who  nursed  him  with  the  greatest  de- 
votion all  during  his  illness.  With  him  also 
was  Joe  Denegre  of  New  Orleans,  a  very 
dear  comrade  and  friend  of  his,  one  with 
whom  he  had  been  closely  associated  from  the 


112  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

beginning  of  the  war  until  he  was  taken 
prisoner.  It  was  in  his  arms  that  Richard 
passed  away. 

I  have  many  letters  about  him,  the  one 
from  General  Grant  expresses  great  sym- 
pathy for  us,  and  admiration  of  Richard's 
courage  and  high  sense  of  honor.  Much  as 
he  wanted  him  for  my  sake  to  accept  the 
parole  and  urged  him  to  do  so,  he  was  glad 
he  refused,  and  he  loved  the  boy  for  faith- 
fully fulfilling  his  duty  to  the  cause  he  had  so 
much  at  heart. 

What  a  sad  little  colony  we  are!  with  the 
continual  succession  of  bad  news  telling  of 
one  disaster  after  another  until  we  are  in 
despair.  Apart  from  my  own  overwhelming 
sorrows  are  those  that  we  all  suffer  together 
in  our  great  anxiety  in  regard  to  the  fate 
of  our  loved  ones  who  are  struggling  in  vain 
against  such  fearful  odds.  How  much  longer 
can  they  hold  out  is  the  question  we  ask  each 
other,  but  the  answer  is  read  in  the  sad  faces 
around  us,  for  we  all  know  in  our  hearts  that 
the  end  is  near. 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  113 

A  few  days  later. 

All  hope  is  over!  Richmond  fell  on  the 
3d  of  April,  and  Lee  surrendered  on  the 
9th,  six  days  afterwards,  so  this  dreadful 
war  is  over!!!  What  a  useless  sacrifice  of 
life  it  has  been,  what  untold  suffering  it  has 
brought  to  the  thousands  of  broken-hearted 
mothers  and  wives!  to  say  nothing  of  the 
ruined  homes  and  desolation  of  a  once  rich 
and  productive  part  of  the  country. 

General  Grant  in  his  treatment  of  General 
Lee  when  he  surrendered  was  worthy  of  the 
big-hearted  and  just  man  that  he  is;  the  ut- 
terance of  those  simple  but  ever-touching 
words,  "  Let  us  have  peace,"  ought  to  make 
him  dear  to  all  Americans,  North  and  South. 
It  will  take  time  to  enable  us  to  adjust  our- 
selves to  the  inevitable,  and  the  process  of  re- 
construction of  the  States,  I  fear,  will  be  long 
and  tedious.  It  will  be  in  the  hands  of  such 
just  men  as  President  Lincoln  and  General 
Grant  that  we  must  trust  our  fate.  In  the 
agony  of  our  own  sorrows,  every  heart  goes 
out  in  love  and  sympathy  for  our  noble  and 


114  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

great  hero  General  Lee.  Never  was  a  man 
so  dear  to  the  hearts  of  his  people,  adored 
by  his  troops,  who  willingly  laid  down  their 
lives  at  his  feet.  In  his  hour  of  misfortune 
he  will  rise  to  greater  heights  than  those  who 
are  victorious,  his  word  is  law  for  us,  we  ac- 
cept his  surrender  as  the  noblest  proof  of  his 
greatness  and  unselfish  love  for  his  poor,  half- 
clothed,  starving  little  band  of  heroes,  who  be- 
came such  from  his  brave  example,  and  were 
loyal  to  him  to  the  last  hour. 

A  few  days  later. 
Our  sorrows  and  misfortunes  are  never  to 
cease.  I  can  see  only  dark,  terrible  days 
ahead  of  us  in  consequence  of  the  awful 
assassination  of  President  Lincoln.  Coming 
at  this  time  it  is  the  greatest  misfortune,  and 
will  be  more  disastrous  in  its  effect  upon  the 
South  than  anything  that  could  have  hap- 
pened. What  a  madman  Booth  was  not  to 
realize  this!  and  it  is  terrible  to  think  of  the 
many  innocent  people  that  are  going  to  be 
made  to  suffer  in  consequence  of  his  mad  and 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  115 

unjustifiable  act.  This  awful  crime  cannot 
be  wiped  out  by  the  hanging  of  Booth  only, 
I  fear  others  will  be  made  to  pay  very  dearly 
for  it;  if  not  with  their  lives,  it  will  be  in 
other  ways  of  suffering  and  humiliation.  I 
am  sure  that  all  just  and  fair-minded  South- 
erners feel  that.  Had  Lincoln  lived,  aided  by 
the  conciliatory  policy  of  General  Grant,  the 
reconstruction  of  the  States  could  have  been 
brought  about  with  less  difficulty,  and  on  far 
better  terms  and  conditions  for  us  than  can 
be  hoped  for  now.  The  bad  feeling  that 
President  Lincoln's  assassination  will  arouse 
against  us  throughout  the  North  will  make 
them  want  to  show  us  little  mercy,  and 
greatly  complicate  the  settlement  of  the  diffi- 
cult questions  that  we  must  all  face.  God 
help  us! 

Then  the  emancipation  of  the  slaves.  How 
is  that  going  to  be  dealt  with?  We  who 
know  them,  and  have  learned  to  love  them 
and  care  for  them  since  we  were  children,  can- 
not foresee  what  their  freedom  will  bring  to 
them.     While  I  rejoice  that  they  have  it,  I 


116  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

pity  them,  for  they  are  in  no  way  prepared 
for  it.  I  cannot  help  but  fear  terrible  condi- 
tions for  those  who  will  have  to  depend  upon 
negro  labor  for  the  cultivation  of  their  fields. 
I  have  faith  in  the  older  ones  taking  it  sen- 
sibly, and  remaining  in  most  cases  faithful  in 
their  allegiance  to  their  owners,  from  force  of 
habit  as  well  as  sentiment,  for  they  have  a 
strong  sense  of  attachment;  it  is  the  younger 
generation  that  will  be  demoralized  and  cor- 
rupted by  it.  If  the  suggestion  made  during 
the  War  by  some  of  the  largest  slave-owners 
in  the  South  had  been  accepted,  and  adopted, 
it  would  have  been  better.  These  wise  men 
were  in  favor  of  arming  the  negroes,  putting 
them  in  the  Southern  army,  and  at  the  same 
time  giving  them  their  freedom.  If  it  could 
have  been  done  it  might  have  changed  the 
conditions  of  the  war,  for  I  have  not  the 
slightest  doubt  but  that  they  would  have 
fought  bravely  under  the  command  of  their 
masters;  not  in  a  single  instance  have  I  heard 
of  their  failing  to  do  so,  when  they  have  been 
in  a  battle  with  their  young  masters.     Often 


M 

I— I 

u 

H 


H 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  117 

have  they  been  known  to  run  great  risks,  and 
shown  great  bravery  in  their  efforts  to  save 
their  masters  when  they  have  been  wounded 
on  the  battlefield.  I  wish  that  they  could 
have  been  in  some  way  educated  or  pre- 
pared for  freedom,  before  it  was  so  suddenly 
thrust  upon  them.  The  North  has  assumed 
a  tremendous  responsibility;  I  hope  that  they 
will  prove  themselves  equal  to  it,  and  treat 
this  race  of  people  with  a  firm,  just,  and 
discriminating  policy;  otherwise  they  will  be- 
come an  evil  and  menace  to  the  welfare  of 
the  country. 

I  cannot  help  but  wonder  what  our  slaves 
will  do  when  told  that  they  are  free.  I  am 
sure  that  they  will  all  want  to  go  back  to  the 
plantation,  for  they  hate  Texas  and  long  to 
return  to  the  sugar-cane  and  warmth  of 
Louisiana.  James  has  written  to  the  over- 
seer to  give  them  the  necessary  money  to  take 
them  back  if  they  wish  to  go. 


118  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

Several  months  later. 
The  conditions  in  our  part  of  the  country 
are  still  very  unsettled,  the  events  of  the  last 
months  indicate  clearly  that  the  reconstruction 
is  going  to  be  a  long,  tedious,  and  trying 
time  for  the  Southern  States.  We  begin 
to  feel  that  we  must  go  back,  but  it  will  be 
a  sad  home-coming,  without  a  home  to  go  to. 
The  family  circle  is  broken  by  the  death  of 
our  boys,  and  many  dear  old  friends  will  be 
missing.  Then  we  are  uncertain  as  to 
whether  we  shall  be  able  to  save  enough  from 
the  wreck  of  our  fortune  to  enable  us  to  live 
even  in  a  very  modest  way.  It  is  hard  for 
my  husband  after  a  long  life  of  success  in 
everything  that  he  has  ever  undertaken,  now 
in  his  old  age  to  have  the  wealth  representing 
years  of  hard  and  successful  work  swept 
away,  through  no  fault  of  his  own.  He  is 
wonderfully  brave  and  plucky  about  it,  and  is 
anxious  to  go  back  and  begin  to  rebuild  his 
fortune.  But  I  see  a  great  change  in  him 
since  Richard's  death.  I  have  my  doubts 
about  his  strength  and  health  enabling  him 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  119 

to  do  much  more.  The  spirit  is  willing,  but 
the  poor  heart  has  suffered  so  much  anxiety 
and  sorrow  during  those  terrible  four  years 
that  I  fear  it  has  reached  its  limit. 

OCTOBER,  1865. 
The  romance  commenced  in  Matamoras,  re- 
sumed in  Paris  under  rather  extraordinary 
circumstances,  has  ended  in  a  marriage,  which 
I  have  reason  to  hope  will  be  for  the  hap- 
piness of  both  Belle  and  the  Count.  The 
wedding  was  a  very  small  one,  owing  to  our 
deep  mourning,  but  all  our  little  colony  was 
present,  as  it  was  the  last  time  we  shall  see 
our  friends.  We  bid  them  farewell;  to- 
morrow we  leave  Paris  for  Liverpool,  and 
shall  sail  from  there  to  New  York.  Count 
de  Sombreuil  has  endeared  himself  to  us  in 
many  ways.  He  has  never  failed  in  his  devo- 
tion and  sympathy  for  us  during  the  trying 
times  that  we  have  passed  through  while  liv- 
ing in  his  mother's  house.  The  dear  old 
Countess,  too,  has  been  the  same,  full  of  sym- 
pathy and  kindness,  ever  ready  to  do  any- 


120  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

thing  that  she  could  for  us.  I  am  glad  that 
she  is  so  delighted  with  the  marriage.  As 
the  Count  is  leaving  the  army,  she  no  longer 
dreads  the  possibility  of  being  left  alone  in 
this  beautiful  home,  for  it  is  understood  that 
her  son  and  his  wife  are  to  live  with  her.  I 
wonder  if  I  shall  have  the  courage  to  resume 
my  diary  when  I  reach  New  Orleans.  Will 
it  be  to  record  painful  experiences,  or  will 
the  conditions  be  better  than  they  promise  at 
present?  However,  I  shall  write  no  more 
until  I  get  there. 

I  bid  farewell  to  you,  my  constant  little  com- 
panion, and  close  your  pages  with  regret,  for 
you  have  been  a  great  help  and  consolation  to 
me,  during  these  years  of  sorrow  and  many 
trials. 


VIII 

My  dear  little  Companion, 

When  I  closed  you  in  Paris,  I  hardly  ex- 
pected to  confide  in  you  so  soon  again,  but  the 
habit  has  grown  upon  me,  and  now  I  can- 
not resist  writing  up  my  experiences  of  these 
last  few  months.  They  have  seemed  so  un- 
natural and  strange  that  it  is  hard  to  adjust 
myself  to  the  new  conditions  of  our  life. 

I  must  go  back  and  take  up  the  threads  of 
my  story,  a  few  months  before  the  close  of 
the  War.  Clarice,  who  seemed  to  us  such  a 
child,  but  to  others  appeared  considerably 
older  than  her  years,  had  two  very  devoted 
lovers,  one  of  whom  was  Walter  Fane,  a 
man  of  unusual  intellectual  and  scholarly 
gifts,  well  fitted  for  the  high  diplomatic 
position  that  he  held,  and  to  whose  presence 
with  us  while  in  Havana  I  have  already 
referred. 

He  followed  us  to  Paris,  and  though  much 

older  than  my  child,  her  father,  who  greatly 

121 


122  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

admired  Captain  Fane,  felt  that  her  happi- 
ness and  welfare  would  be  secure  in  his 
keeping. 

The  second  suitor  was  Captain  Scott,  who 
was  also  abroad  on  an  important  diplomatic 
mission. 

From  Paris  we  had  gone  to  Liverpool, 
where  we  received  a  letter  from  Walter  Fane 
imploring  us  to  await  his  arrival  there.  He 
expected  to  join  us  in  three  weeks'  time,  as 
he  was  sailing  at  once  from  Havana  for 
England. 

We  waited  impatiently  and  fearfully  for 
three  long  months.  Finally  all  hope  of  see- 
ing him  was  abandoned,  and  the  agents  of  the 
line  could  only  believe  that  the  steamer  must 
have  gone  down  in  mid-ocean,  as  no  trace  of 
her  could  be  obtained. 

We  then  decided  to  sail  for  home  on  Sun- 
day by  the  steamer  "  Arabia,"  when  lo,  and 
behold,  who  should  walk  in  upon  us  three 
days  earlier,  but  Walter  Fane,  coming  as  one 
from  the  dead,  so  amazed  were  we  to  see  him. 

The  steamer  on  which  he  had  sailed  from 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  123 

Havana  had  had  an  accident  to  her  machinery, 
and  had  to  resort  to  her  sails  only  to  be  be- 
calmed and  drift  about  the  Gulf  of  Mexico 
for  six  weeks!  Finally  they  managed  to  hail 
a  passing  steamer,  the  passengers  were 
transferred  and  enabled  to  continue  their 
journey  to  England.  The  disabled  steamer 
was  subsequently  towed  to  the  nearest  port. 
This  accounted  for  Walter  Fane's  three 
months'  disappearance  from  the  world. 

Though  my  husband's  preference  was  un- 
doubtedly for  Captain  Fane,  he  realized  that 
Clarice's  extreme  youth  necessitated  the  con- 
tinuance of  her  studies  for  another  year  or 
two,  and  therefore  on  his  return  to  Mexico 
he  exacted,  before  leaving,  a  promise  that 
she  would  not,  during  his  absence,  accept  any 
offer  of  marriage  from  either  of  her  two  ar- 
dent suitors.  Captain  Fane's  proposal  was 
not  long  delayed.  On  hearing  the  condition 
imposed  upon  us  by  my  husband,  he  started 
post-haste  in  pursuit  of  James  to  Mexico. 
Shortly  afterwards  Captain  Scott  also  de- 
clared his  suit,   and  receiving  the   same  in- 


124  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

formation,  started  with  the  same  eagerness 
for  Mexico.  The  night  before  he  left,  he 
called  to  say  good-by,  and  finding  Clarice 
alone,  he  pressed  into  her  hand  a  tiny  box, 
begging  her  to  open  it  only  when  she  should 
hear  the  door  close  behind  him.  He  knew  full 
well  that  I  should  never  have  allowed  the 
child  to  accept  its  contents,  had  I  seen  them. 
Once  out  of  the  house,  no  return  of  his  gift 
could  be  possible,  as  his  intention  was  to  leave 
by  the  night  train  for  Liverpool  and  to  sail 
from  there  early  the  next  morning  for  Ha- 
vana. His  little  farewell  present  to  my 
daughter  was  a  ring  containing  a  diamond  of 
large  size  and  of  great  value. 

When  Captain  Scott  reached  Havana  on 
his  way  to  Mexico,  the  first  person  whom  he 
saw  on  entering  the  hotel  was  his  friend  Fane, 
who  told  him  of  his  return  from  Matanzas. 
The  meeting  between  the  two  friends,  while  a 
cordial  one,  was  full  of  deep  feeling  and 
emotion  for  both  men.  Captain  Scott  real- 
ized that  he  must  learn  his  fate  from  his 
rival,  and  that  if  Fane  had  won  so  he  had 


*C 


u 


/ 

THE  WRITER  OF  THE  DIARY 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  125 

lost;  while  Fane,  knowing  the  strong  and 
determined  character  of  his  friend,  and  what 
the  loss  of  the  girl  he  loved  would  mean  to 
him,  felt  an  intense  sympathy  and  great  sor- 
row for  the  pain  that  he  must  inflict  in  ac- 
knowledging his  own  engagement. 

What  passed  between  the  two  friends  when 
they  parted  in  Havana  has  never  been  told. 
Captain  Fane  returned  to  England,  while 
Captain  Scott  has  seemed  to  drop  out  of  the 
world.  No  one  can  tell  us  any  news  of  him! 
Rumor  says  that  he  has  joined  the  British 
Army. 

[Note  by  the  Editor. — Seventeen  years 
later,  at  a  ball  in  New  Orleans,  whose  setting 
was  one  of  the  beautiful  and  typical  old 
Southern  houses,  a  stranger  among  the  guests 
was  unconscious  of  the  attention  that  con- 
centrated upon  him  as  he  wandered  through 
the  spacious  rooms,  indifferent,  after  a  glance 
at  many  a  noted  beauty,  and  evidently  search- 
ing until  the  evening  was  far  spent  for  some- 
one whom  he   failed  to  find.     Just   as  the 


126  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

guests  were  leaving,  he  suddenly  came  face 
to  face  with  a  tall,  fair  woman — and  instinc- 
tively knew,  though  he  saw  her  sad  and  wist- 
ful countenance  for  the  first  time,  that  she 
was  the  object  of  his  quest. 

Eagerly  he  inquired  her  name,  and  on 
hearing  it  asked  to  be  presented.  After  a  few 
minutes'  conversation  he  said :  "  I  have  a 
message  for  you,  and  I  must  speak  with  you 
alone."  Much  surprised  the  lady  followed 
him  to  a  remote  corner  of  the  conservatory, 
whereupon  he  spoke  hurriedly  as  follows: 
"  My  message  is  from  a  dying  man,  who  bids 
me  tell  you  that  he  has  loved  you  all  these 
years.  Send  him  some  word  in  return  that 
may  comfort  and  sustain  him  in  his  last 
hours." 

He  then  went  on  to  tell  her  of  her  old 
friend  and  lover  Captain  Scott,  who  had  won 
honors  and  distinctions  for  brave  and  gal- 
lant deeds  on  the  battlefields  of  many  cam- 
paigns. Always  a  most  generous  man,  ever 
ready  to  help  those  in  need,  he  had  given 
away   and  distributed  practically  the   whole 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  127 

of  his  large  fortune,  and  was  reduced  to 
actual  want  himself  without  means  of  procur- 
ing any  comforts  or  luxuries  in  his  last  ill- 
ness and  hours  of  distress. 

This  story  brought  to  the  lady's  face  an 
expression  of  great  sorrow  and  pain.  Evi- 
dently she  was  no  indifferent  friend  of 
the  poor  gallant  Captain  Scott!  On  hear- 
ing finally  of  his  poverty,  a  curious  expres- 
sion of  relief,  almost  of  joy,  lighted  up  her 
face,  as  if  she  divined  a  source  from  which 
help  might  come!  Aloud,  she  thanked  the 
stranger  for  his  message  and  said  that  she 
had  a  souvenir  which  she  would  send  his 
friend,  one  that  would  surely  be  of  help  and 
comfort.  In  her  heart  she  thanked  God  that 
after  all  these  years,  atonement  might  be 
made  for  the  suffering  that  she  had  inno- 
cently caused  her  hapless  lover.  The  ring  he 
had  given  her  would  prove  like  that  of  the 
Arabian  Nights  and  bring  ease  and  plenty  to 
its  possessor. 

Next  day  her  hand  held  out  to  the  depart- 
ing stranger  the  precious  little  box  that  had 


128  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

been  placed  there  seventeen  years  before,  by 
the  man  who  little  dreamed  what  it  was 
destined  to  bring  into  his  life  at  its  close. 
From  its  sale  the  poor  invalid  was  surrounded 
with  every  possible  luxury  and  comfort,  his 
very  life  being  prolonged  for  several  months, 
and  with  a  blessing  and  a  loving  farewell  for 
the  woman  who  had  so  benefited  him,  he  died 
with  her  name  on  his  lips.] 

As  we  had  made  all  our  plans  to  sail  for 
home  we  could  not  alter  them,  even  after 
Walter  Fane's  surprising  re-appearance  in 
our  midst.  He,  however,  decided  to  remain 
in  England,  as  it  was  understood  that  a 
strong  feeling  prevailed  against  all  those  who 
had  held  diplomatic  appointments  under  the 
Confederate  Government. 

James  was  advised  to  enter  New  York 
under  an  assumed  name:  he  might  have  been 
a  ready  mark  for  enmity,  being  so  well  known 
throughout  the  country,  a  Northern  man  who 
was  also  a  Southern  planter. 

The  very  reverse  of  our  anticipations  was 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  129 

what  actually  happened  on  reaching  our  na- 
tive shores.  Clarice  very  thoughtlessly  put 
in  the  top  tray  of  her  trunk  a  large  bon- 
bon box,  from  Paris,  of  white  satin  em- 
blazoned with  two  crossed  Confederate  flags. 
When  the  Customs  Officer  saw  it,  he  looked 
quickly  at  the  girl,  who  proclaimed  with  ready 
pride,  "It  is  mine!"  He  replied,  "Well, 
my  young  lady,  it  is  fortunate  for  you  that 
I  am  delegated  to  open  your  trunk.  As  it  is 
you  won't  have  trouble,  for  I  happen  to  love 
the  South,"  whereupon  he  quickly  closed  the 
lid. 

STATEN  ISLAND,  NEW  YORK, 

NOVEMBER,   1865. 

We  were  met  on  our  arrival  by  James' 
cousin,  David  P.  Morgan,  who  took  us  at 
once  to  his  beautiful  home  on  Staten  Island, 
where  we  were  most  cordially  welcomed  by 
his  dear  and  charming  wife,  who  was  a 
daughter  of  William  Fellowes,  an  old  friend 
of  my  husband  and  a  man  who  was  very 
prominent  both  socially  and  financially. 


130  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

A  short  time  after  our  return,  James  was 
advised  by  his  Northern  relatives  and  friends 
to  go  to  Washington  and  take  the  oath  of 
allegiance.     This  he  did! 

We  were  very  loath  to  leave  David  and 
his  attractive  wife  and  children;  it  was  such 
a  great  pleasure  to  us  who  had  been  so  long 
wanderers  and  aliens,  to  revive  old  friend- 
ships, renew  old  associations,  but  alas!  Our 
own  home  in  New  York  City,  where  it  would 
have  been  such  a  comfort  to  settle  for  our 
few  remaining  years  of  life,  had  been  sold 
while  we  were  refugees  in  Texas,  needlessly 
sacrificed,  as  we  now  know,  in  our  absence, 
by  an  ill-advised  friend.  My  husband's 
friends  are  urging  him  to  remain  in  the 
North,  particularly  dear  David,  who  is  very 
generously  offering  him  most  advantageous 
conditions  if  he  will  join  him  in  business. 
But  James  feels  that  he  must  go  South,  and 
see  what  can  be  done  with  the  wreck  of  his 
possessions  there,  with  the  responsibilities  in- 
curred there  and  which  he  does  not  feel  it 
right  to  shirk  now  that  that  section  of  the 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  131 

country  is  so  distracted  and  distressed.  What 
remains  of  our  farm  near  Louisville  he  has 
given  to  our  younger  son  Charles,  but  there 
is  unfortunately  only  a  little  left  of  the  dear 
old  place,  as  it  was  used  for  the  encamp- 
ment of  Federal  troops  owing  to  its  com- 
manding situation  on  the  hills  overlooking 
the  Ohio  River,  three  miles  distant  from 
Louisville. 

This  farm  was  the  first  property  that  James 
had  ever  owned  and  was  purchased  in  his 
early  youth.  It  was  known  as  Rock  Hill, 
and  here  all  our  children  were  born,  eleven, 
and  only  five  have  outlived  infancy!  We 
spent  our  summers  here,  the  spring  and  fall 
in  New  York,  the  winters  on  the  planta- 
tion, so  that  our  life  has  always  been  full 
of  movement  and  variety. 

James  is  a  wonderful  traveler,  but  he 
strictly  limits  our  wardrobes  when  we  are  en 
route  from  one  part  of  the  country  to  the 
other.  We  can  have  all  the  clothes  we  like, 
but  we  mustn't  be  loaded  with  trunks,  so  we 
usually  leave  a  full  trousseau  in  our  bureaus 


132  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

and  closets  and  find  or  purchase  another  on 
our  arrival  North  or  South. 

I  loved  Rock  Hill  best  of  my  three  dwell- 
ing-places. It  really  meant  home  to  me  and 
to  my  husband,  who  took  a  boundless  pride 
in  beautifying  both  house  and  park.  The 
latter  was  well  stocked  with  deer,  who  were 
never  killed,  and  in  the  course  of  many  years 
they  were  very  plentiful  and  also  very  tame. 
At  the  sound  of  carriages  approaching  along 
the  driveway,  they  would  line  up  against  the 
fence,  and  visitors  usually  came  provided  with 
tit-bits  to  offer  these  gentle-eyed  sentinels, 
ready  to  eat  out  of  their  hands  with  military 
precision.  Poor  dears!  They  were  all  killed 
and  eaten  by  the  soldiers. 

NEW  ORLEANS. 

Here  we  are  back  again  in  the  dear  old 
Crescent  City.  It  takes  all  our  courage  and 
fortitude  to  face  these  new  and  strange  condi- 
tions of  life.  The  inevitable  consequences  of 
war  are  all  about  us,  everyone  is  adrift, 
social  and  business  conditions  are  disorgan- 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  133 

ized,  the  permanence  of  home  seems  a  mock- 
ery. The  one  active  trade  that  is  noticeable 
is  the  constant  barter  and  sale  of  jewels  and 
silver  plate  to  provide  the  family  with  its 
daily  market  money.  In  Louisiana  our  only 
home  has  been  on  the  plantation.  When  in 
the  city  we  have  always  visited  my  sister,  who 
lived  on  Dauphine  Street  in  the  French 
Quarter  of  the  town.  This  home,  like  many 
others,  has  now  been  completely  broken  up, 
so  we  must  find  another  as  an  abiding-place 
for  our  old  age.  James  makes  to  return  to 
the  plantation,  but  his  health  is  failing 
rapidly  and  the  doctors  consider  him  quite 
unequal  to  the  heavy  task  of  reorganizing 
the  work  as  it  must  be  done  under  the  new 
regime  of  the  freed  slaves.  The  plantation 
must,  therefore,  be  put  up  for  sale.  What  an 
irony  of  fate!  For  years  he  tried  to  make 
up  his  mind  to  do  this  very  act,  but  like  most 
planters  he  was  under  the  strong  fascination 
of  sugar-making,  which  has  all  the  elements 
of  gambling.  The  likelihood  of  an  early 
frost  which  blights  the  cane,  of  a  late  heat 


134  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

during  the  grinding  process  which  ferments 
the  juice,  of  uncertain  climatic  conditions  at 
all  times  in  Louisiana,  make  it  impossible 
to  calculate  even  approximately  what  the 
result  of  the  sugar-cane  crop  may  be. 

On  the  other  hand,  exactly  favorable  con- 
ditions may  furnish  an  output  that  far  ex- 
ceeds the  most  sanguine  expectations.  This 
was  actually  the  case,  after  years  of  trials 
and  disappointments,  the  first  year  of  the 
War. 

The  slaves  have  all  returned  to  the  plan- 
tation from  Texas  and  are  most  eager  in  their 
inquiries  "  if  ole  Massa  is  coming  back? " 
On  hearing  that  we  are  to  make  our  home  in 
New  Orleans,  all  the  house-servants  have  de- 
scended upon  us  and  are  practically  en- 
camped on  the  doorsteps,  clamoring  to  be 
allowed  to  return  to  their  work  as  usual.  The 
question  of  their  wages  has  never  been  raised, 
they  have  only  made  one  stipulation,  viz. :  that 
when  they  die  they  are  to  have  "  a  gran' 
funeral,"  with  all  their  friends  invited  and 
lots  of  white  cape  jessamines  to  cover  "  de 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  135 

daid  body."  The  funeral  rites  they  lay  great 
stress  upon;  of  the  marriage  ones  they  are 
inclined  to  be  somewhat  negligent. 

The  other  day  Black  Betty,  Clarice's  maid, 
walked  in  upon  us  with  her  two  children, 
born  during  slavery,  and  throwing  her  arms 
around  the  girl  said,  "  Miss  Clarice,  I  wish 
to  goodness  dat  you'd  tek  me  and  de  chillun! 
Leastways  I  mek  you  a  present  of  de  chillun. 
Dey  tells  me  dat's  we'se  all  free,  but  I  can' 
mek  out  how  I'm  guine  raise  'em  if  you  don' 
help  me!  I  reckon  you  ain'  guine  refuse  me, 
is  you? " 

NOVEMBER,  1866. 

For  many  months  I  have  been  unable  to 
write  at  all,  following  injuries  received  in  a 
severe  fall  which  has  caused  me  intense  suf- 
fering, and  deprived  me  of  the  use  of  my 
right  hand.  During  my  period  of  invalidism, 
our  friends  have  been  very  kind  in  coming 
to  see  me,  making  my  drawing-room  quite  a 
political  salon,  politics  in  these  days  being  an 
absorbing  topic  in  this  sore  and  sorry  period 


136  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

of  reconstruction.  There  is  endless  discussion 
of  the  heart-breaking  measures  that  are  be- 
ing enforced  as  the  means  to  restore  condi- 
tions that  can  never  be  accepted  by  our  peo- 
ple. While  I  am  deeply  interested  in  all 
questions  that  concern  not  only  the  welfare  of 
my  own  community,  but  of  the  country  at 
large,  I  prefer  to  avoid  in  my  diary  any 
personal  bias  in  discussing  the  present  fear- 
ful situation,  the  appalling  complications  and 
evil  events  that  have  resulted  from  this  period 
of  reconstruction.  There  is  a  difference  of 
opinion  even  among  our  own  people  as  to 
what  methods  should  be  pursued.  Such  men 
as  Generals  Hood,  Wheeler,  Longstreet,  and 
Beaureguard  cannot  agree,  some  taking  more 
advanced  and  conciliatory  views  than  others. 
General  Longstreet,  for  instance,  seems  far 
ahead  of  prevailing  opinions,  so  much  so  that, 
if  he  presses  the  policy  which  he  now  advo- 
cates, he  is  bound  to  be  looked  upon  askance 
by  his  former  companions  in  arms.  On  the 
other  hand,  how  can  anyone  doubt  the  sin- 
cerity of  his  loyalty  to  the  cause  for  which  he 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  137 

has  so  gallantly  fought  ?  Only  time  can  prove 
the  wisdom  or  the  fallacy  of  the  cause  for 
which  he  is  now  struggling  with  all  his  might. 

We  have  been  terribly  distressed  at  the 
tragic  death  of  the  wife  and  children  of  our 
old  friend  Dr.  Richardson. 

There  is  no  mode  of  travel  more  comfort- 
able or  really  luxurious  than  on  one  of  our 
large  river  steamboats,  but  certainly  there  is 
none  attended  by  more  terrible  accidents. 
With  their  high-pressure  boilers  and  the 
temptation  to  constantly  increase  their  rate 
of  speed,  the  result  is  often  a  frightful  ex- 
plosion, followed  by  fire,  the  passengers 
perishing  in  an  agonized  death  before  any 
means  of  rescue  can  be  effected. 

Dr.  Richardson's  wife  and  children  were  to 
join  him  here,  coming  from  Louisville  on  one 
of  these  floating  palaces,  when  the  not  un- 
usual explosion  occurred  and  all  were  lost. 
For  many  years  of  my  life  I  have  made  this 
trip  every  spring  and  fall.  We  had  usually 
a  number  of  friends  on  board,  there  was 
dancing  every  night  in  the  large  saloon,  we 


138  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

made  a  toilet  for  dinner,  and  looked  upon 
the  ten  days  or  fortnight  of  our  trip  as  a 
very  pleasant  period  of  social  enjoyment. 
We  always  took  a  good  supply  of  provisions, 
even  to  a  cow,  who  became  so  accustomed 
to  her  semi-annual  jaunt  that  she  walked  on 
and  off  the  steamer  with  perfect  complacency. 
For  a  whole  year  James  has  worked  hard 
trying  to  raise  money  for  the  first  payment 
on  the  house  purchased  since  we  arrived  here. 
We  have  now  been  settled  in  it  for  three 
months.  The  house  has  a  stable,  but  alas! 
no  horses  or  carriages,  so  it  is  empty,  but  the 
negroes  know  that  we  have  it,  and  lately 
whole  families  from  the  plantation  have  ar- 
rived to  pay  us  prolonged  visits,  which  are 
very  trying,  now  that  every  extra  mouth  we 
feed  involves  an  expense  clearly  beyond  our 
means.  When  they  want  to  shirk  their  work 
on  the  plantation,  they  are  suddenly  seized 
with  a  desire  to  visit  "  de  fambly  in  de  city. 
Sho'  ole  Massa  and  ole  Missus  will  be  glad 
to  see  us!"  They  are  perfectly  willing  to 
work  for  us,  but  there  is  nothing  to  employ 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  139 

them  in,  and  it  requires  very  firm  diplomacy 
to  persuade  them  to  return  to  the  plantation. 

One  family  may  be  disposed  of,  but  un- 
fortunately they  go  back  and  give  such  glow- 
ing accounts  of  their  visit  to  us,  that  their 
departure  is  only  too  quickly  followed  by 
other  arrivals. 

James  has  sold  the  plantation!  The 
negroes,  however,  refuse  to  work  unless  some 
member  of  the  family  returns  to  manage 
them.  The  present  owner  has  offered  my 
son  Louis  a  good  salary  if  he  will  reorganize 
the  work  and  manage  the  plantation,  so  he 
has  accepted,  but  he  writes  that  the  task  is 
not  an  easy  one;  that  it  is  pathetic  how  the 
old  slaves  long  to  have  us  back,  and  most 
difficult  to  make  them  understand  that  they 
are  free,  and  to  grasp  the  fact  that  the 
family  no  longer  owns  the  plantation.  He 
urges  me  to  come  back  and  see  if  I  can  exert 
some  influence  or  powers  of  persuasion  that 
may  help  to  reconcile  these  helpless  creatures 
with  their  present  lot,  and  enable  them  to  ad- 
just themselves  to  the  new  order.     This  sud- 


140  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

den  freedom,  the  manner  in  which  it  has  come 
about,  will,  I  fear,  breed  veiy  serious  trouble 
for  our  country  in  the  near  future.  Of 
course  the  South  will  suffer  most  at  the  out- 
set, but  the  evil  will  eventually  go  much  fur- 
ther and  have  very  far-reaching  results. 

If  the  negroes  could  only  have  been  in 
some  slight  measure  prepared,  if  we  could 
have  had  a  little  more  time  in  which  to  train 
them,  this  tremendous  power  that  has  so  un- 
expectedly been  placed  in  their  hands  might 
have  been  used  to  some  good  purpose.  The 
freed  slaves  that  show  any  ability  to  do  for 
themselves  are  those  who  have  been  taught 
a  trade  during  slavery,  who  are  trained  car- 
penters, blacksmiths,  bricklayers,  etc. 

A  touching  instance  of  the  love  and  loyalty 
shown  by  these  people  for  their  former  own- 
ers, is  strikingly  shown  in  the  case  of  a  negro 
who  was  sent  abroad  before  the  War  by  his 
mistress  to  be  taught  instrumental  music,  for 
which  he  showed  very  pronounced  aptitude. 
He  had  a  natural  sense  of  rhythm  that  made 
his  dance  music  a  very  valuable  acquisition 


^ 


THE  CLARICE  OF  TO-DAY 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  141 

on  the  plantation,  most  Southerners  being 
proverbially  fond  of  dancing  and  much  given 
to  this  form  of  amusement.  From  the  time 
when  he  could  crawl  this  boy  would  steal  into 
his  mistress'  drawing-room  and  be  found 
perched  on  the  music  stool  and  trying  to  play 
on  her  piano.  On  his  return  to  New  Orleans 
at  the  close  of  the  War,  he  found  his  old  mis- 
tress penniless,  a  widow,  and  alone  in  the 
world,  as  her  two  sons  had  been  killed  on  the 
battlefield.  He  went  manfully  to  work  to 
support  her,  and  has  eventually  been  able  to 
give  her  a  home,  but  in  order  to  do  this  he 
works  all  day  in  a  music  store,  and  plays  at 
night  for  dancing  parties.  He  is  quite  the 
most  important  feature  of  a  successful  ball,  as 
it  is  not  considered  "  chic  "  to  have  anyone 
else  play.  Apart  from  his  delightful  dance 
music,  his  intense  enjoyment  of  the  pleasure 
that  he  is  giving  shows  in  his  face,  which  is 
like  glistening  ebony  and  radiant  with  a  smile 
that  stretches  from  ear  to  ear,  and  reveals  a 
set  of  teeth  the  counterpart  of  the  ivories  from 
which  his  powerful  hands  produce  a  melody 


142  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

and  a  measure  that  one  cannot  resist.  He 
always  requests  that  the  piano  shall  be  placed 
so  that  he  can  see  the  dancers,  and  for  chil- 
dren's parties  his  big  right  foot  is  set  forth 
to  beat  time,  upon  whose  observance  he 
strictly  insists,  though  the  little  people  adore 
him  and  call  him,  with  all  due  respect, 
"  Snowball." 

JANUARY,  1867. 

Christmas  has  come  and  gone!  The  hearts 
of  the  young  are  full  of  its  joy,  the  hearts  of 
the  old  are  apt  to  be  full  of  its  sadness!  Not 
so  with  me,  however,  for  whom  it  becomes 
more  and  more,  as  I  go  on  in  life,  the  record 
day  of  all  the  year,  measuring  the  happiness 
of  my  childhood,  the  hopes  of  my  girlhood, 
and  as  each  record  becomes  the  concentrated 
essence  of  all  previous  records,  in  the  delight 
and  exquisite  pleasure  of  my  motherhood,  I 
realize  the  past  years  of  happiness  in  the  hap- 
piness of  my  children.  The  years  of  my 
sorrow  are  forgotten  on  this  day  sacred  to 
memory  and  to  peace. 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  143 

CRESCENT    PLANTATION. 

How  strange  it  seems  to  return  here  again! 
Louis  is  overjoyed  at  having  me  with  him, 
and  I  am  glad  that  I  came,  in  spite  of  the 
bitter  struggle  that  it  cost  me  to  do  so.  We 
are  living  in  a  part  of  the  old  house  that  has 
been  rebuilt  for  Louis.  Perhaps  it  is  as 
well  that  the  rest  has  gone.  Its  presence 
would  be  too  suggestive  of  sad  memories. 
This  morning  after  my  arrival  all  their 
negroes  hurried  to  greet  me,  and  on  the  back 
porch  are  strewn  the  simple  and  varied  offer- 
ings of  love — half  a  dozen  eggs,  a  chicken, 
some  flowers  or  vegetables  that  have  grown 
in  their  own  small  gardens.  It  is  a  curious 
but  touching  collection,  and  brings  tears  to 
my  eyes.  Some  of  the  older  mammies  put 
their  fat  black  arms  around  me  and  our  tears 
mingled.  While  the  maturer  ones  urge  our 
return  and  would  undoubtedly  serve  us  with 
loyalty,  the  younger  men  and  women  are  full 
of  their  freedom,  and  the  famous  promise  of 
"  a  mule  and  an  acre  of  ground "  apiece, 
which  they  firmly  credit,  opens  out  to  them  a 


144  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

vista  of  wealth  and  ease,  the  equivalent  to 
their  simple  minds  of  a  Monte  Cristo  fortune. 
What  I  fear  most  for  them  is  the  likelihood 
in  the  near  future  of  their  having  free  access 
to  liquor.  The  drinking  curse  is  what  we 
have  always  dreaded  most  in  our  African 
slaves. 

During  the  few  days  that  I  have  spent 
here,  I  have  fully  realized  how  wise  James 
was  not  to  attempt,  in  his  condition  of  health, 
a  renewal  of  the  old  life  under  the  new  regime. 
Younger  men  than  he  must  undertake  the 
arduous  task.  Perhaps  those  who  come  from 
afar,  without  handicap  of  the  older  systems, 
may  stand  a  better  chance  to  revive  sugar- 
making  and  work  out  new  and  fresh  ideas 
along  different  lines. 

NEW  ORLEANS. 

Since  my  return  I  have  found  myself  in- 
volved in  a  work  for  a  cause  which  appeals 
to  me  tremendously,  and  to  undertake  it  gives 
me  great  comfort  at  the  same  time.  I 
heartily  wish  that  such  heavy  responsibilities 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  145 

had  not  fallen  on  my  already  much  bowed 
shoulders.  At  the  French  Opera  House 
where  were  gathered  many  prominent  repre- 
sentatives of  military-civil  circles,  a  mass 
meeting  was  held  for  the  purpose  of  electing 
a  president  of  an  association  to  raise  money 
for  the  widows  and  disabled  in  the  Con- 
federate ranks.  Great  was  my  consternation 
and  surprise  when  my  name  was  called  out 
from  the  stage  as  the  woman  selected  for  this 
great  honor.  The  announcement  was  quickly 
followed  by  the  selection  of  a  most  able  and 
distinguished  committee  of  ladies  to  aid  me: 
Mrs.  Slanffer,  Mrs.  Slocomb,  Mrs.  H.  Con- 
nor, Mrs.  Nolitt,  and  many  others  who  are 
younger  and  probably  much  more  efficient 
than  I  am  to  organize  and  carry  out  this  tre- 
mendous task.  Of  course  I  shall  bring  to  it 
my  best  efforts  and  work  in  its  behalf  with 
all  my  heart  and  soul. 

A  month  later. 
My  days  being  all  too  short  for  the  work  in 
hand,  I  have  had  no  time  to  record  its  prog- 


146  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

ress  here.  We  have  decided,  after  much  dis- 
cussion as  to  the  wisest  means  of  raising 
money  among  those  who  have  so  very  little 
left  to  give,  upon  a  general  bazaar  and  lot- 
tery, combined  with  evening  entertainments 
of  varied  character,  for  which  the  price  of 
admission  will  be  very  moderate,  as  all  actors 
and  singers  have  volunteered  to  give  their 
services  free.  There  is  not  a  store  in  New 
Orleans  from  the  largest  dry  goods  and 
jewelry  establishments  to  the  smallest  Italian 
fruit  stand  that  has  not  made  some  generous 
contribution,  including  precious  stones,  silver- 
ware, clothing,  and  household  articles  of  every 
description  to  be  offered  for  raffle  or  sale. 
We  have  the  Mauresque  Building,  which  is 
very  large  and  lends  itself  easily  to  decora- 
tion, giving  us  all  the  space  we  require.  I 
go  every  day  with  one  of  the  committee  to 
ask  for  donations,  very  seldom  for  money,  but 
any  article  is  of  value,  small  or  large,  either 
for  sale  or  lottery,  and  it  is  most  gratifying 
that  not  once  in  any  quarter  has  our  request 
for  a  donation  been  refused. 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  147 

This  is  the  fourth  day  of  the  bazaar  and 
we  have  every  reason  to  hope  for  great  re- 
sults. Last  night  the  great  Ristori  offered 
to  give  us  recitations  from  several  of  her 
plays.  This  crowded  the  house  to  its  utmost 
capacity,  and  all  who  came  were  well  re- 
paid, for  it  was  a  wonderful,  never-to-be- 
forgotten  evening.  The  great  artiste  was  at 
her  best,  and  won  us  all  with  the  charm  of  her 
rare  and  fascinating  personality.  Walter 
Fane  was  appointed  on  the  committee  that 
received  her,  and  being  a  fluent  Italian 
scholar  was  spokesman  for  the  others.  Ris- 
tori was  enchanted  at  his  greeting  her  in  her 
own  tongue  and  still  more  delighted  over  his 
knowledge  of,  and  love  for,  her  country. 
She  has  been  most  sympathetic  and  generous 
in  her  desire  to  help  our  cause.  I  felt  proud, 
too,  that  I  could  present  to  her  so  many 
charming  and  distinguished  women,  to  say 
nothing  of  the  men  whose  gallantry  and 
courteous  bearing  greatly  pleased  her,  re- 
minding her  of  the  best  Latin  traditions  in 
the  Old  World  from  which  she  comes. 


148  DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE 

The  most  attractive  feature  of  the  bazaar 
is  the  flower  and  fruit  stand.  The  girls  in 
their  bower  of  roses  are  "  queen  roses  "  them- 
selves, and  their  fresh  young  faces  are  a 
great  magnet  to  the  crowd,  so  that  a  lively 
trade  goes  on  daily,  and  their  contributions 
to  the  fund  is  an  ever-increasing  one.  In  the 
group  are  the  two  famous  beauties,  Anna 
and  Lydia  Henning,  and  so  many  are  the 
disputes  as  to  their  respective  charms,  that 
my  cousin  Billy  Walker  swears  he  will  risk 
bigamy  and  marry  both,  Anna,  who  is  very 
intellectual,  to  be  his  fireside  companion,  and 
Lydia  to  preside  and  adorn  the  head  of  his 
table.  Clara  and  Minnie  Morton,  who  have 
just  returned  from  Europe,  are  full  of  dash 
and  "  chic,"  and  they,  too,  having  a  large 
circle  of  beaux  and  swains  following  in  their 
wake,  add  a  merry  note  of  wit  and  repartee 
to  the  popularity  of  their  stronghold. 

Nature's  nobleman,  a  true  Christian  and  a 
faithful  friend,  untiring  in  his  efforts  to  as- 
sist and  uplift  the  good  of  the  community  in 
which  he  lives.    As  a  citizen  he  was  fully  ap- 


DIARY  OF  A  REFUGEE  149 

predated  and  admired,  and  the  Chamber  of 
Commerce  has  just  passed  and  sent  me  reso- 
lutions that  are  a  full  and  touching  tribute  to 
his  memory.  His  greatest  hobby  was  in  edu- 
cating and  giving  young  men  a  start  in  life, 
and  many  a  successful  one  owes  his  good 
fortune  to  James'  timely  aid. 

[Note  by  Editor. — The  writer  of  the  Diary 
saw  her  prayer  fulfilled  and  did  not  long 
survive  her  husband.  Although  a  great  in- 
valid she  spent  her  remaining  years  in  good 
work,  but  her  compensating  joy  and  comfort 
in  her  declining  years  was  the  marriage  of 
her  daughter  with  Walter  Fane.] 


11IM»^ 


